Day 13

Today my hair lost its brown sheen. Dyed it blue black.

And I got a 64gb touch.

Went shopping with the units.

Went back to the hospical.

Home.

Sleep.

Day 11/12

Yesterday is now a blur. I don't think I did very much. I know I went to see him at for a few hours as the hospital. I had hospital food! Haha! It wasn't all that bad. I quite enjoyed it. Also got to see him do a bit of proper physio and that was really good. It looks like he is regaining his control of some motor skills. It's looking good. He came home today as well, which was a pity, because I had planned to go out the whole day. Tomorrow, he's coming back as well, but maybe no Avatar, according to her, because he needs to do some work as well. But at least I'll be able to spend more time with him tomorrow. =)

We also set up our new Samsung LED TV last night. IT LOOKS AMAZING.

Today was a busy day. I went to Marina's graduation with Josh, which was really cool to see everyone in gowns and stuff. I found the colors of the silk things really interesting.

Then I went to David's birthday/graduation thing, which was really enjoyable. Mafia was fun. =) Food was good. Company was good. =D

After, I got a lift from Ben to Fiona's birthday. That was good fun too, apart from some people constantly asking what I ENTER I got. >_<" We played spoons and singstar, generally. Thanks Fitty fitty bang bang. Hope you liked the necklace. =) and that it wasn't too awkward when I put it on you... =_="

T'was a good night, I must say.

Anyways, I really need to catch up on MORE sleep. So farewell and good night to you all. Merry Christmas! =)

Day 10

TEE HEE. Today was Avatar.

That was probably the major highlight.

It started with me waking to Chris's music/singing, then going back to sleep to wake up at the comfortable time of 10:30. I Skyped with one of the love(s) of my lives. AND CONGRATS ON GETTING INTO FREAKING NYU, BIATCH. ILY <3

Then took my Hazards test, which I passed comfortably. On the way to the Burwood testing centre I got into an argument with her, because before we left the home we couldn't find the registration number, so she was basically saying that I should be more independent. That got me into a pretty shitty mood. I retaliated by suggesting that maybe I should go to Sydney, which I am actually still considering, because it seems all that I'm doing here in Melbourne is giving him and her stress. He definitely doesn't need that, but I feel all this sudden pressure to do a course that he approves of. I didn't even know he had that much of a say in what I do until mid this year. Before that, I was under the impression that I had free reign to study whatever the heck I want. And now that he is in hospital, he can receive professional care including physiotherapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy and all his TCM stuff too. He doesn't need me as much to drive him around or help him with therapy. I still massage him when I see him, but apart from that my role as a caregiver has somewhat diminished.

I went home, quick lunch, didn't have time to pop by to see him in hospital before I went out and I feel kinda bad about that.

Avatar was AWESOME. Loved it. Loved it. Loved it. I would seriously watched maybe another 2 times and buy the DVD. Absolutely epic. LOVED. IT. Nathan and I got jibbed though... we didn't get a 3D glasses case! I WANT A REFUND. SO I CAN WATCH IT AGAIN. =D

Post-movie, I went straight to the hospital to see him. It was kind of crappy though, because he almost immediately brought up my course selections. I really have no idea what to do at university anymore. No idea. I have three days to decide. OH. MY. FREAKING. GOSH. Whatever.

I went straight to work after, and I just got home from work. Wasn't a bad day at work, apart from the fact that my boss sorta raged at me for not wanting to stay til 2 in the morning.

Today had a good balance of awesome and shittiness.

BTW. I'm thinking of getting an iPod Touch. Anyone want one? Because I can get it for around 205 this weekend. Anyone want?

Day 9

Today was okay/good.

Morning was just bumming, then Jessie came over and we watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Later, I went to collect the TV we bought and then I went with her to see him in hospital. He complained about being in a shared room, because he can't sleep. He says the physio is pretty good and that the food isn't bad either. Haha.

After I went to work. I'm working on boxing day!! DOUBLE PAY. FROM 6-10. AWESOME. I can shop in the morning/arvo. YAY.

Today was also long, but okay/good.

Day 8

Today was TIRING.

Because I worked last night and I had a doctors appointment this morning, so I was DEAD tired today. After doctors, we came home so that I could get some "rest", but instead I watched some movies. My Sassy Girl, the English version.

Bummed a bit, then brought him to the rehab hospital, where he got admitted. It seems like a really good hospital, but he was complaining that he didn't get a private room. I'll go see him often.

I went home and ate an early dinner then took a 20 minute nap, a rushed shower and then went to work for 5 hours.

Now I'm home. Not so tired, but I'll go to bed soon.

Day 6/Day 7

Yesterday was fun. Had dinner with the LinC year 12s and leaders at Chinabar Signature. It was good. Enjoyed it a lot. I was way too tired to blog last night...

Today, I'm also way too tired to blog and I'm paining, but I'll blog anyways. Today was a normal day, save the VCE results. I went to school with Nathan to pick up art crap. Then went to acupuncture for him, her and myself. Then went to Box Hill to buy some comfort stuff for a friend, whose house I crashed afterwards in attempt to cheer him up. I hope I did. Or at least the Korean take-out, ice cream, gummies and Friends did... Haha. I also brought fudge brownie mix, but we didn't get around to making it, because I had to go to his neuro consult. When I got into the car, I realized how tired I was and was nodding off. I also got into a heated discussion with him about my uni preferences... I really don't know what to do with that now. He asks me why I keep changing my mind and why have I changed my mind to arts after I took so much time and effort to convince him that nursing is a good career choice. I don't think he realizes that I'm staying in Melbourne, partially, to take care of him and the rest of the family and by staying in Melbourne, I essentially cut out any decision-making choices that I could make. So now I'm left with airy-fairy courses to pick from and when I pick one, he tells me that it has no commercial value. When I ask for an alternative, or something that he would approve of, or deem to have some commercial value, he just says I should do nursing then.

Hmmm. Now I'm thinking that if I'm going to be adding this sort of stress to him (and myself for that matter) at this point in time, it may be better that I move to Sydney.

I worked tonight as well. I'm working Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights as well. So yay! I get money, but no contract. Oh well...

My ankle is killing me from all the squatting and bending I have to do at work, so I'm going to go take a shower and massage it a bit. In the meantime, go do something meaningful with your life and stop reading this blog! =P

Day 6

Today was a fun day.

Too tired. Blog later.

Day 5

Today was a good day... then it turned sour.

We went to the rehab hospital and it looks like he is gonna be admitted so that he can have therapy twice a day. If he goes for rehab as an out-patient he would probably only be able to get professional physio twice a week. The rehab specialist we saw was interesting.

Later we went to buy a dining table from Harvey Norman then we went to buy a TV from The Good Guys. Yay! New stuff. We were close to buying a couch, but didn't buy it in the end.

Got home, helped him with a bit of physio and massage, then I helped her cook for some dinner guests. Had the dinner guests over, then they left. One of them learnt deep tissue massage from a Chinese master a while back and so he gave him a massage.

Once they left, it was about time to sleep, but he just stayed up. She got worried and told me to get him to go to bed, because he was worrying about Chris, who wasn't home yet. I sat down with him for a bit and he started talking about Chris. I just sat there sort of acknowledging what he was saying, while looking blankly into space. I tried to get him to go to bed, but to no avail. Eventually I resorted to just massaging him until he goes to bed. It sort of worked. I don't know whether it was because of my massage or just because it was getting late. He was worried about the shit that Chris is getting himself into... He will probably kick Chris out soon.

I don't know what to do...

Today became a crappy Day 5.

Day 4

Nothing much happened today.

We went to the acupuncturist today! I got my sinuses done. Yay. Haha. He got his arm, face and leg done. She got dunno what done...but she got massage too.

After that we had lunch in Box Hill, then went shopping for a couch, a TV and a new table. Then I made a massive dinner of fish (fried Taiwanese style, credit to Auntie Cher), grilled tomato and asparagus/mushroom thing, a soup and a vegetable thing.

Then we did a bit of physio and I helped massage his arm.

Then we went shopping again! Harvey Norman for couches and TVs. Didn't actually buy anything, but we've decided on a TV which we are going to pick up tomorrow.

Today was a mediocre Day 4.

Day 3

Today was actually really enjoyable. Not that the past two days haven't been, but today was just exceptionally enjoyable.

Didn't have any doctor appointments or anything, or work for that matter. They went to get him a blood test this morning, before I woke up, and then I got up made breakfast for us. For him, I toasted a piece of bread with a slice of chicken in it which he ate with half boiled eggs. She ate... half boiled eggs on toast. And I had a nice big sandwich of CHEESE, CHICKEN and sun-dried tomato stuff. Yumm.

We basically ran errands all day. Picked up my passport, overdue by a month, from the Chinese embassy. Dropped into school to do my exit form stuff and just chat with a few of the teachers. Got to talk to Ms. Mill about my derived score application, which, fortunately, has been approved for all my subjects, save English. Praise God for that! We had lunch in South Yarra, then we headed to Richmond MLN, a computer store, to buy me a nice laptop, on which I am currently typing. I took a loan from her first, because this lappy is a Christmas sale special and I'll be working throughout Christmas season.

We then went around looking at furniture, because we are looking to buy a new L-shaped, leather couch. We couldn't really find anything great. Although I did find a futon-couch thing in Fantastic for $199, which I want for my room. Gotta do some reorganising first though. We're also looking for a TV, but didn't have time to look today.

Then we came home and I helped him with around an hour of physio, which was good quality time. His hand has gotten a bit swollen, and I have this fear that it could be my massaging from yesterday... Actually now that I think about it, maybe it's the acupuncture. Hopefully it's just the progression of his condition though. He says it's just water retention. Helped him with stretches and exercises. His arm feels like soft Japanese tofu... I hope that we can speed up the return of his muscle strength with physio and all.

He just tugged my sleeve and asked me to tell him a bedtime story when I put him into bed. Haha. He said this 'cause the last time I tucked him in I said "Oh, look! It's a role reversal... I'm doing the tuckin' in now!"

Today was a good Day 3.

Day 2

Yesterday and today have been long days.

Today, I went to see the GP with them, who referred him to a neurologist and a close by hospital with facilities for his physio and rehab. Afterward, we came home to have lunch, which she made, and he whispered to me when she wasn't looking "I like your cooking better." I didn't have the opportunity to taste for myself, because I ate leftovers from last night. I was going to prepare lunch, but he wanted to do his physio exercises, so I helped him with that instead.

Then we went to see the acupunturist, whom she absolutely adores. And I quite like him as well, although sometimes I get the feeling that the whole traditional Chinese medicine thing is all a bit... iffy. The only really substantial thing that I would actually be interested in learning is the massage component. The herbs and acupuncutre would be fun to learn, but I'm still a little skeptical of it's health benefits. Not that I don't trust it, I'm sure it helps, but I'm just not sure to what extent. The doctor is really nice. He jokes around with us. He told me not to study "bloody medicine". When the doctor was stabbing needles into his face, it was clear he was quite uncomfortable and so the doctor said that he can just call out if it hurts "AIYO", but then he continued to say that if he calls out, he'll charge double. This got him laughing hard...with needles jiggling in his face, arms and legs.

After the doctor had left and he was just laying on the table-bed-thing, they told me a story of rehab in China. They went to a new hospital and she had gone to re-register him for more physiotherapy and when she came back she opened then curtain and said "Darling, should I pay for another 5 times or just one for now?" and looked at him and was shocked to see no needles in his head. Instead she saw him face down bent over with a collection in needles sticking out from his ass. Then she realizes it's not him. This gets him cracking up from the memory.

After physio, I dropped him in BH to wait for his business partners to meet up with him. He said that the morning was his time and the afternoon is my time, but I really don't mind spending the day with him. On the way to Camberwell to do a bit of shopping with Nathan, I got into a little argument with her about leaving him byhimself. You see, it was the first time he had been left alone since it happened. So we made a U-turn to see where and how he is. Turns out, he called his partners to come earlier, so he doesn't have to wait as long. That convinced her, so we left for Camberwell. In the end, I just went to Koorong to buy EJ's present. Bumped into Van, Tabs and Wesley there.

I rushed to take a shower and get to EJ's. It was good fun - mafia, spoons, eating, chatting, ipod touching, etc. Happy late birthday, EJ! Sorry that I had to leave a little early, I know you understand though. I hope you had a great night!

I left early, because she called me to tell me to come home, because he was upset. He had found out that Chris had sold the phone that he had given Chris as a gift to a conperson in Nigeria. Absolute genius. This had got him worked up and she decided that he needed a drive and so they came to pick me up. They came just in time, 'cause I managed to get some cake too.

I got home I helped massage and stretch his arm and hand. The Chinese doctor had taught me how to perform simple deep tissue massage on the hand and I found it quite fascinating actually. He thought that my technique was okay, and attributed it partially to performing Wushu. Also when I had lived in China, there had been a massage parlour on the ground floor, where I hung out everyday after school with the masseurs and talked to them. They also taught my some massage techniques. I don't remember all of it, but I remember the gist and some of the simple techniques. I think I might actually enjoy physiotherapy a lot.

While I massaged and stretched him, I think I managed to get his mind off Chris and his problems, by talking about his condition. I was curious about his spatial awareness, as in whether or not he was able to tell where his hand is. I wondered about this because it seems that he has little motor function, but sensation. I wasn't sure how spatial awareness fit into all of that. So I asked him to perform a few simple tasks. I moved his arm and asked him to point to where his palm, thumb, pinky, elbow, wrist, etc is. He managed to do all of it.... until one try when I pulled his arm outward and asked him to touch his palm with his left hand. He randomly grasped the air underneath his arm and burst out laughing. He was trying to trick me into thinking that his spatial awareness was affected too. I just "CHE!"ed him and walked out. Later he showed me that he could tell what I was touching without looking, by identifying the area on his left arm. After the GP this morning he also told me a story about when he went to flush the toilet once in China, and he realized that he had washed his hand as well, because he was unable to lift his right hand. That means when he flushed his hand, he could feel it rushing against his hand... Haha. He also told me a story of when he was in Malaysia and after dinner, he had wiped the table and the dishes with his hand, because it just dragged across the table. Haha. He is very postive and is determined to get better.

He says that his hand feels "normal" today. I think that is a good sign.

Oh, I forgot to wish Nick happy birthday. HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY. And Nick asked me to be his bestman, which I would be honored to be and definitely do it happily!

Today was a unique Day 2.

Day 1

They got back to Melbourne today.

It's been a pretty emotional day for everyone I guess. I've noticed what people mean when they say what looks like only a little progress, it is and feels like a lot. He cried around three times. First was when he arrived home. Second was while he just laid down to rest, and third after I had helped him with some of his physio exercises. I just stayed silent and hugged him when he cried. I teared up, but wouldn't let him see my fears. When he cries, I want to tell him "What's there to cry about?" Not in a mean, insensitive way, but in a joking ignorance to help him not think about it. But then again, when it happens, I freeze up and I get tongue tied, seeing someone who I've regarded as a manly man breaking down before my eyes.

It was all worth it for the laughs that I got out of him. One was when he got me to check whether he could be my supervising driver now that he's an "invalid". I don't like that word. I feel that it's somewhat degrading. I flipped through the book and said, quite indifferent towards the law, "Nuh, doesn't seem to have any rules against it." and chucked the book to the side. That got him laughing, and that was definitely worth it. The second time was when I made a joke about her desire to study taxation for the sake of "cheating the system". That got him chuckling.

Apart from the emotional periods, he is very positive. Which is good, I think. It keeps everyone positive. She cries everytime she sees him cry. And it all becomes one massive waterworks. Not really, but you get the picture.

While I was helping him with his exercises, I found it hard to understand him sometimes, possibly because of his slur, but I think that it was mainly 'cause he spoke it disjointed phrases, rather than completed sentences. Eventually I got the hang of it, and now I'm understanding him better. A highlight of this is when he says "SPAM!!", and I responded with a "huh?" and he starts working his right hand with his left and says "MUSCLE SPAM!" and then I realized he means muscle spasm. So now whenever he says "spam", I know he wants me to stretch his muscles and massage it.

He seems determined. After he gets emotional, he seems to have even more determination to get better. I see it in his body, his face and his eyes. When he tries to "simply" wave, I see his whole body tense, his face contorts in strain and determination. His eyes start leaking at this point.

In reflection of all of this, I've decided to get healthy. I'm taking this crap which my big bro is taking that is supposed to be for high cholesterol. It's a fiber supplement. I'm also eating somewhat healthy.

I cooked lunch and dinner today. Simple variants of soup noodles. Just changing the soup. It's gonna take me some time to get used to eating bland food. Almost no salt is killing me. I enjoy the cooking through. It is a challenge and an opportunity to learn to make great tasting dishes that are also healthy and can accommodate for him.

Today was Day 1.

Late night blog

Woah. It's late at night now. And I'm by myself. Why don't I sleep? I have no idea. Especially 'cause I gots a doctor's appointment in the morning. <_<

I just wanted to write some stuff, 'cause I haven't in a while, and I gotta make up for lost blogs. xD And I'll start trying to make videos/vlogging. =)

My body clock is sorta outta whack. Well...no it isn't. It's still doing its job in waking me pretty early. But the thing is that I've been sleeping pretty late the past few nights. And tonight I worked for 5 hours. T_T And now I'm home. You do not understand how freaking tired my feet are. ARGH. FREAKING CHRISTMAS SALES!!! RAAARGH.

I've been pretty dead the whole day. XD I haven't been talking much and just "blerrgh". Then I worked and that made me even more "blerrgh", but now all I want to do is blog. o_o

I have a few reasons for wanting to move to Sydney:
-The course that I have my eyes set on is only available in Sydney
-To get away from people...
-To get some fresh air
-Start afresh
-Explore

*sigh* It seems that all my reasons for going aren't all the BEST reasons, but I think I have more reasons to go than to stay. Although recently, I've been thinking about the sort of breaking away from Melbourne. It's gonna be strange and awkward, I reckon. But who knows how things are gonna pan out? I've been thinking about the people I'll miss, the people who could make me stay, the people who I'll be glad I'm away from and people I'm gonna meet. With the people who could make me stay.... I don't think that it is likely they would, but I'm not saying it's not a possibility.

Sydney'll be exciting and fun fun fun. Yay.

OMGOSH. OKAY. MY EYES ARE DYING. GOOD NIGHT.

Disaster in the oven, exams finished....and other crap

Woah, the long overdue post. Wheee.

Exams are over since last Friday, and I am entirely free. I think I've been keeping myself pretty busy, haven't felt bored yet. I feel like I have too little time and too many things to do. I have long overdue presents to give to people, long overdue get togethers to organize, current get togethers to organize.... mainain communication with some people that I may likely never see again! D= maintain sanity by busying myself.

BLOOD AND GORE. Wheee. Movies with blood and gore.... funfunfun. I watched this random movie today, Death Race, where basically people just DIED left right and centre. It was interesting and pretty cool idea, but it was kinda predictable. >_>;; But in terms of blood and gore, its like the later Saws and crap. Haha. Less creepy mind games though....

Tomorrow is a wedding! And I made shit brownies. WITH NO FLOUR. WTF.

ugh. i should sleep soon. I'll make a more...comprehensive post later. xD

FAST STARTING SOON

Okay soon no more blogging/reading blogs/facebook/youtube for a week! FARE THEE WELL, BLOGGING BUDDIES!

=\

Meet'cha on the other side!

(btw, I'm actually excited to fast... 'cause it's also EXO!)

GOD, HERE I COME.

=D

Me and LOVERBOY

This was the funniest moment that just happened.

This is between a friend of mine and me, when we are both appearing offline. This is the very start, where she is assuming I'm not there.

For privacy sake, her name will be "LOVERBOY". *ahem*

[7:50:14 PM] LOVERBOY: bw, did i ever mention i miss you?
[7:50:19 PM] LOVERBOY: letssss meet up.
[7:50:22 PM] LOVERBOY: please
[7:50:26 PM] LOVERBOY 8D
[7:50:31 PM] infernisimo: awww
[7:50:32 PM] LOVERBOY: (feeeeeeels desparate.)
[7:50:36 PM] LOVERBOY: OH
[7:50:37 PM] infernisimo: ily long tim
[7:50:37 PM] LOVERBOY: WTF
[7:50:38 PM] infernisimo: time
[7:50:38 PM] infernisimo: XD
[7:50:39 PM] LOVERBOY: your onlinee
[7:50:41 PM] LOVERBOY: hahahhahaha
[7:50:42 PM] LOVERBOY: fuck you
[7:50:43 PM] infernisimo: i actually JUST got on my come
[7:50:44 PM] infernisimo: comp
[7:50:45 PM] infernisimo: XD
[7:50:46 PM] LOVERBOY: this was supposed to be special
[7:50:47 PM] infernisimo: JSUT JUST JUST
[7:50:47 PM] LOVERBOY: like
[7:50:50 PM] LOVERBOY: a moment
[7:50:51 PM] infernisimo: cuz i just finished eating dinner
[7:50:52 PM] LOVERBOY: when you got on the comp
[7:50:53 PM] LOVERBOY: HAHAHa
[7:50:53 PM] infernisimo: HAHAHHAHAHAHA
[7:50:54 PM] LOVERBOY: hahhaa
[7:50:57 PM] LOVERBOY: YOU SUCK
[7:51:00 PM] infernisimo: thats hilarious.
[7:51:00 PM] LOVERBOY: you ruined the moment
[7:51:03 PM] LOVERBOY: jw
[7:51:03 PM] infernisimo: HAHAHHAHAH

Haha.

-jmah-

P.S. i lurve LOVERBOY. She is <3.

ZOMGOSH.

The somewhat silent God is not-so-silent. =P

I'll tell you what I mean. Recently I think my relationship with God has been pretty mediocre. It wasn't that it was on the rocks, but it has just been... "cruisy". But I went to listen to this really amazing speaker Sy Rogers, and he got me thinking about a lot of things and really reassess my relationship with God. Previously I was feeling like God was somewhat silent... but the scary thing is that I didn't really care, because everything was sort of smooth sailing. The last time I rememeber really praising God for something is when I got my midyear results. And that was AGES ago.

So Sy spoke on Tuesday... and by Friday, I no longer think God is silent. =) Or at least, I can see Him working in my life and around me. =D Which is really some great stuff, when you think about it...

IT IS SO AMAZING. Some of you already know, but with EXO coming along, we had some dramas... and then today EVERYTHING JUST WORKED. Everything is planned, it's all good! Not to mention we now have extra funding, teachers praying for us, SRC backing us, GIE contributing... everything is just working out. GOD IS SO GREAT. SO SO GREAT. Oh and mainly... we know have an item for the Friday lunchtime activity! =) So amazing.

This is all after the Sy thing and also yesterday I spoke to an amazing person who challenged me to fast. Haha. Yeah. A blog-fast. I think I'll extend that to Facebook and Youtube. =) I'm actually really excited to do it. All of next week, from Sunday to Sunday. So sorry guys! I won't be reading your blogs! =\ But I'll be praying instead. Haha. Yay. Keep me accountable!

That's my update. God is so awesome. =D

Thank you, God, for giving us this opportunity to make a difference in our school...

-jmah-

People who blog make the internet my happy place...

Seriously. I have no life.

<3

I have another art idea!! Yay! I haven't really told many people, if anyone at all, but I wanna finish it before I talk about the project... I think it's the same reason why I don't like talking about the ideas behind my work. I guess I don't like people thinking about my ideas, because people naturally judge and the ideas that are closer to me... are just awkward if they are out in the open. I don't know. I just don't like it. I don't mind talking about my ideas occasionally to people who I feel close to, but it's kinda weird trying to justify my ideas to other people. >_<;; So if I do tell you about my little inspirations, those are little snippets into my thought pattern. =\ Don't know whether that is good or bad, but yeah.

Boo. =)

EXO IS COMING. *scary moozek*

-jmah-

Guess why?

APPLE PIE! D=

That's right folks! I'm baking apple pie. Yummm. It's in the oven right now. =)

I just finished the 40 Hour Famine yesterday with Josh. It was good, although it was pretty cramped, in terms of sleeping space. XD Toilet breaks were awesome. I think the best thing that I took away from it... my appreciation for HOT SHOWERS and BEDS. Yesss. =D

Anyways, I didn't go to school today, because I woke up and I was just oozing with laziness and I was so tired from the lack of sleep in the car. XD So I didn't go.

Instead I, being the good little Asian boy that I am, studied! And of course, baked. o_o;;

And I have 2 questions on my mind at the moment:

1. If someone is perceived as [insert adjective X here], does that mean that they are [X]?

e.g. if I'm perceived as shallow, am I shallow?

The reason I ask is because I feel that I can defend both the affirmative and the negative. What makes difference in being perceived as something and actually being something? In this world, it's very hard to make that distinction. =\

2. How do you help a friend who doesn't think that they need help?

I have no answers that are worth mentioning. =\

Hmm... I want my apple pie...

-jmah-

"my piiie brings all the boys to the yard
and they're like, its better than yours,
damn right, it's better than yours
i could teach you, but i'd have to charge"

Actually, not really.

I haven't even tried it yet, but I have the feeling I put too much cinnamon and the crust isn't glazed with egg =( BUT I STILL CAN'T WAIT TO EAT IT! NOMNOMNOM.

UPDATE: UGH! My apple pie died. It's mush... but still yum... but mush. =(

Blo-GGed.

Okay, well, long time no blog! Haha. Hi there! I'm John. Blah de blah de blah.

Brunch was two weeks ago (not this past weekend, but the one before that...). I was actually really happy with it. =) And we had this canvas where we put up the question "What is God doing in your high schools?" and the responses were amazing! It's so encouraging to just read it. When I actually first sat down to read it (still at Bridge Church) I could feel myself tearing up ._.;; but then I was rushed off to the kitchen to help clean. Fortunately for me... not that there would've been any waterworks ANYWAYS. 'Cause you know me! From ECC. Okay, cannot be screwed rhyming at the moment.

Next highlight was probably the day after brunch which was FORMAL SHOPPING, WICKED AND CHURCH! YAY! Yes... Thaaank yooou David for shopping with me =) and Wicked was... simply put... FREAKING FAN-BLOWS-MY-BRAINS-TASTIC! <3 Bought a Wicked jumper! (which I got PVA glue on today after art class )= )

Then it was all school -fast forward-.

FRIDAY was the fooormal! Hehe. That was pretty amazing as well. Everyone looks so puuurty all dressed up and everything. I just wanna pack everyone away into a little box and just watch them in their little dresses and suits... Okay, that's starting to sound creepy. But seriously, everyone was gorgeous! And it was a great night to spend with friends! =) My formal day was pretty crappy, to be honest, to the point where I was sorta scared to go home... but the night made up for it all. Wait... no, I take that back. The people on the night made up for that. =) Thanks yous peoples. =) Even when I did go home, it wasn't so bad. So preformal was at Vino's... that was really nice to see everyone dressed up =) then it was the formal, which was a blast. And the food was FREAKING AMAZING. After, we just bummed at Nae's for like...3 hours? More... But yeah, then Auntie Cindy sent Josh and I back to my place and Van and Tabs back to Van's. The morning was really good too. Jessie came over and started making BREAKFAST! Which turned into brunch, 'cause it lasted till around... 2? From 11 til 2. Definitely brunch. Brunch the second! Haha. And Van and Tabs came over for breakkie as well. =) PANCAKES. FRENCH TOAST. BACON. SAUSAGES. EGGS. Yum yum yum yum. Took photos through everything, I think... =)

Yesterday! MOM'S HOME! YAY! =)

And today I had art class, which was good and bad. Well. Good first, 'cause actually I've been working on my piece the whole day, which was good. And at art class, I really couldn't be screwed working on it anymore... So I did my pots! Two of them were perfect to turn! And I did one, and it looks REALLY NICE. It's my baaaby. I took photos with it. I think I may call it the BEEHIVE! xD And after I started the second one, I got a feeling to what I wanted to do to it; compress the clay with my fingers, while it was on the wheel. BAD IDEA. I got a bit too comfortable doing it and eventually (after I had turned the base of the pot, so it had a bit of a stand....) it caught on my finger and spun off the wheel to KER-SPLAT on the floor. =( But I'm gonna keep it the way it is, but I'll just clean it up a bit. I think it, in itself, is art. This is because I think the art of pottery is more about the process than the product itself. It's different with glass. Glass is simple. All you do is arrange it then stick it in a kiln and TA-DA! But mosaics and glass take patience. But I still think the process of pottery is more art than the process of mosaics. The process of mosaics is tedious, but is (or at least SHOULD BE) planned in advance. Pottery on the other hand, is a live art. It's technical and requires skill and A LOT of patience and diligence.

Yes. That's a little art splurge.

Okay. That is all.

-jmah-

I am grateful...

Truly, I am.

Do you think its possible to be grateful and spoilt at the same time? I believe I'm both.

Today is the UMAT. I'm trying to take things easy. I woke up, made myself a nice big breakfast... then read some opinion articles (for the sake of subconscious language analysis!) and then went to Westfield to get the BREAKFAST invite/pamphlet things printed. I'll get them before I got to UMAT, so I can begin distribution! I printed 400. For 45 bucks! =) Awesomeness. After I got home from ordering those, I did some art. Continued mosaic-ing my bowl. I'll post pictures some day. =)

I've got Art class later today! Which is gonna be awesome. And before that, I'll be baking to my heart's content. I'll bake lots so I'll share them around. Maybe I'll go "mini". Hehe.

Yeah.

I've had this song playing again and again yesterday and today...

Planetshakers - Surrender
from the All for Love album...

I love the end, where the song sort of finishes and there's a little bit at the end (if you listen to it, you'll know what I mean). That part is <3.

Our God is such an awesome God and far too many times I doubt that or don't consciously believe it. Far too many times I lack faith. Far too many times I rely on myself, rather than Him.

Last week at LinC, after Incy talked about the Kingdom and the comparison of the Garden of Eden and after the Fall of Man... We split off into our groups and Ning asked us two questions:

"What would you want God to say to you?"
and
"What would you not want God to say to you?"

And, maybe some of you might think this is absolutely stupid or whatnot, but my answer for the first question was and still is that He loves me. As simple as that.

What I wouldn't want God to say to me is that I'm missing the point.

Lay it all down
Lay it all down
Lay it all down at Your feet

-jmah-

Post-Hug day...

Well that was on Monday and I only got 13 hugs... I'm making every Monday a hug day. =D Next goal: 20.

I'm supposed to be UMATing... but UGH. I really can't bring myself to do it. I aim to do 2 exams plus one section today... which would mean I would have done 3 by the end of the day! YAY.

I have something to post about, but I'll post about it after UMAT maybe. =)

ZOMGOSH. IT'S VANESSA'S BIRTHDAY TODAY! HBD. =)

It is almost time...

Tomorrow is the day! The very special day, where happiness abounds like unicorns in the meadow. And butterflies soar beneath the the fairy-floss-like clouds.... Ah, corny.

Can you guess what day it is?

IT'S THE HAPPY-HUGS-FROM-JOHN DAY! YAY!

Yeah... so I've decided to give lotsa hugs tomorrow. =)

I'll let you guys know how it goes... if I don't see you tomorrow, I'll give you a cyber-hug if you ask! =D

-jmah-

TODAY!

So the rest of my week wasn't that bad.

Yesterday was eventful. Students Alive had a sausage sizzle! Making 300% profit! I think... if my math serves me right. Haha. And after school I had "debating"... we just went to La Porchetta for a bite and drinks, 'cause it was our debating coach's last session with us. But then she realized that her flight to HK was in a few hours and had to dash. Haha. So she said she'll take us out week after next for a proper meal.

After that, I went to Richmond AOG (now called Bridge Church) to check out the venue for the breakfast! And it looks awesome! I really liked the building and the layout of the place. Finally got to meet Nick, the guy who I've been organizing the thing with from the Bridge Church side of things.

Ooooh. Formal coming up. o_o No longer that much of a pain in the ass, 'cause I think most of the things have been sorted out. Yay.

And UMAT also coming up. Ugh. Yeah, gotta do some practice. Everyone's freaking out about it and I haven't done any full exam practices yet. Daaamniiitt. I'll start one now. =\

-jmah-

Two days in...

It's only been two days in and already I want to cut myself into a million pieces and mail me off to some exotic island to be scattered on the ocean. I think I've had a shit beginning of term. Well, what to do?

I don't know whether I have anything remotely meaningful to say.

I'll talk about university then. I've been thinking about what I want to do next year and everything and I think that I care a lot about which university I go to. Yesterday I found a degree at ACU which looks like a really good course for me, but just because it is at ACU, I'm not that interested.

I don't think I should be caring about that, but I do. Hm. Oh and the course was Nursing/Arts. =)

Yeah, nothing really much to say. And I have an English assignment to do...

-jmah-

Time to uproot...

So I met up with Hayley (a friend I haven't seen for 7 flippin' years) and we talked about all sortsa things. It's cool, 'cause I think we can relate much better to each other, having similar experiences.

We established that we were both TCKs (Third Culture Kids), after she mentioned that she was reading a book about TCKs. Okay, I was actually going to talk about uprooting and stuff as a TCK, but I found a "You know you're a TCK when..." thing which I want to respond to. I think I'm already in the facebook group as well. Haha. TCK pride...

- “Where are you from?” has more than one reasonable answer.

Yup.

- You’ve said that you’re from foreign country X, and (if you live in America) your audience has asked you which US state X is in.

No.

- You flew before you could walk.

Yup.

- You speak two languages, but can’t spell in either.

Yes. o_o I phail Chinese.

- You feel odd being in the ethnic majority.

Suprisingly, no. All the schools I went to had an Asian majority. Haha.

- You have three passports.

Nope.

- You have a passport but no driver’s license.

Yes, if you don't count a learner's permit as a license. Haha.

- You go into culture shock upon returning to your “home” country.- Your life story uses the phrase “Then we moved to…” three (or four, or five…) times.

Yes >.< - You wince when people mispronounce foreign words.

Yes, depending on the word.

- You don’t know whether to write the date as day/month/year, month/day/year, or some variation thereof.

Haha, used to, not so much anymore, but occasionally. xD

- The best word for something is the word you learned first, regardless of the language.

Yes. es-tu-wuh-diss is Air stewardess. Not even a language, but an accent. xD

- You get confused because US money isn’t colour-coded.

Yes! >.< - You think VISA is a document that’s stamped in your passport, not a plastic card you carry in your wallet.

Nope.

- You own personal appliances with 3 types of plugs, know the difference between 110 and 220 volts, 50 and 60 cycle current, and realize that a trasnsformer isn’t always enough to make your appliances work.

Yes =.=

- You fried a number of appliances during the learning process.

Yes... oh precious dreamcast...

- You think the Pledge of Allegiance might possibly begin with “Four-score and seven years ago….”

Err.... I can actually recite the Pledge of Allegiance, 'cause I was a boy scout...

- Half of your phone calls are unintelligible to those around you.

Don't think so... but they can be if I needed them to be.

- You believe vehemently that football is played with a round, spotted ball.

Err... no.

- You consider a city 500 miles away “very close.”

Yes...

- You get homesick reading National Geographic.

That's just weird. XD

- You cruise the Internet looking for fonts that can support foreign alphabets.

I have before, but I don't do it regularly ._.;;

- You think in the metric system and Celsius.

Um... I use everything depending on how I'm feeling. Although I always use Celsius....

- You may have learned to think in feet and miles as well, after a few years of living (and driving) in the US. (But not Fahrenheit. You will *never* learn to think in Fahrenheit).

N/A

- You haggle with the checkout clerk for a lower price.

Haha... not really.

- Your minor is a foreign language you already speak.

I WANT IT TO BE!

- When asked a question in a certain language, you’ve absentmindedly respond in a different one.

If it's not English, yes, very likely.

- You miss the subtitles when you see the latest movie.

No, I don't think I like subtitles...

- You’ve gotten out of school because of monsoons, bomb threats, and/or popular demonstrations.

Haha, yes. People thought my school was "international soil" like an ambassy or something and were seeking asylum. Haha.

- You speak with authority on the subject of airline travel.

I guess...

- You have frequent flyer accounts on multiple airlines.

Yup, I think so.

- You constantly want to use said frequent flyer accounts to travel to new places.

Sometimes.

- You know how to pack.

Ugh, no I phail at packing. I always overpack.

- You have the urge to move to a new country every couple of years.

Yes, and thats what this blog was SUPPOSED to be about.

- The thought of sending your (hypothetical) kids to public school scares you, while the thought of letting them fly alone doesn’t at all.

Don't want kids, but I would rather send my hypothetical kids to an international school if I could afford it. And flying alone was a big deal for me... Haha.

- You think that high school reunions are all but impossible.

Yes, until I came here.

- You have friends from 29 different countries.

Yup.

- You sort your friends by continent.

By country.

- You have a time zone map next to your telephone.

Haha, no, but I have 3 or 4 different time zones saved on my phone clock for easy access.

- You realize what a small world it is, after all.

Very small indeed.


Err... that's 20ish out of... I don't know how many. But yes... Interesting. Hehe.

The thing about being a TCK is that if you talk about you're experiences with non-TCKs (not to discriminate, 'cause I love all you non-TCKs), it feels like bragging. So... that's why I blog about it rather than talk about it.

But with the uproot thing, I feel like its time for me to MOOOVE. I want to get out of Melbourne... Maybe it's a phase or something, but I wanna go somewhere new. I want a fresh start in a new place. =) And the exploration!

I think this is long enough already. I'll leave it there.

-jmah-


EDIT: Oh yeah, a sidenote, I think it's natural for TCKs to talk about TCK experiences, because I had a similar conversation about TCK experiences with another friend who I havent seen for more than a year and who I met in Beijing.

Shout-out to HAYLEY and CAMMIE! <3

Moral dilemma

Rargh. Get ready for a pure whammy of bitch-blog.

I'm quite ticked off at the moment.

Right now I hate myself, I hate my conscience, I hate any conviction I have to do the right thing, I hate having morals, and I hate ethics altogether. Who gives a flying fudgehorn whats wrong or whats right?

Ugh. I'm just sick of trying to be a "good" person. It only makes more trouble and me annoyed more.

Don't get me wrong here, I do believe there is a good and a bad, a right and a wrong. It's just that I hate being good enough to see the bad...

If that makes ANY sense at all.

And seeing the bad JUST PISSES ME OFF. Why do people have to lie, steal, kill? Why do people have to be so phony? Why are people so selfish?!

Again, that's not to say that I'm "Little Miss Perfect", but when I can be morally right, I try to be morally right.

Ugh.

Be a human being and do the right freaking thing.

Goodness gracious GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

I haven't blogged for such a long time. I haven't been on MSN for a week (or more?) now. Haha, I realized that, 'cause deary dear Fitty Tang left me an offline message a week ago and I just got it today. Haha...

Well, lots has happened in the past week (being the last week of school and all). It's been so busy and rushed.

On Tuesday I got a call from work, but didn't realize that it was work until 10PM and I called back to find no one manning the phones. I called after school on Wednesday and talked to my new nightfill manager and he asked me if I wanted to work that day, so I went in... And he was pretty full on about his expectations and stuff. I think hes a good guy though. Work was good, I worked with some really nice people and I got to leave on time, so that was good. The one thing that ticked me off a little was this one guy when I was supposed to be doing "training". So "training" is just watching this DVD in the tea room. But before my manager gets there, I'm just walking around in the room reading all the posters and I recognized one guy as someone I've worked with before. I'll call him Bob. Bob was a nice guy, but I didn't like his attitude too much. He is quite the pervy as well. ._.;; The last time I met him, we talked about Japan and Japanese and stuff. Yeah... Well back to the training. So I notice him as a member of the safety and whatnot team and so I'm like "Hmm... cool." My manager comes in and puts the DVD on. After like 5 minutes, EVERYONE starts coming into the tea room for their break. The TV is this tiny little thing with not the best sound projection. So by now I'm a tad frustrated. Then after a while, everyone is talking, and this other guy and I are trying to watch the DVD, but we were already struggling to hear what the video was saying, Bob comes over and turns the volume down. WTF. Isn't he supposed to take responsibility for whether we know the safety procedures and whatnots? Not the mention the irony in that the video was all about "doing the right thing". Bleh! That was annoying.

Thursday I spent the whole day baking, once I got home from school. Baked brownies for school and people. And also made more rice balls for dinner. =)

FRIDAY! Last day of school, and I went to watch Transformers.

AVENUE Q! Excited.

TUITION! Sorta not really excited.

DAY SKI TRIP! Damn excited.

CHINK SCHOOL FRIENDS NANDOS CHALLENGE THINGY! Fun fun.

Oh, but the biggest news of all...

I HAVE A POTTERY WHEEL! =) I'm happy. I'll take pictures and show you guys later, because I have to get to youth now. =)

-jmah-

Relaxxx...

Damn right, exams are over.

=)

Haha, but I've been a nerd/geek the past few days.

Finished the last of my exams on Thursday and went out for Korean BBQ with whole buncha people from everywhere. 'twas big... food was good. =) I like.

I've been playing alot of MTG (Magic the Gathering =DDD) recently. Heehee. I made a deal with my parents about exams regarding the number of practice exam papers I do and cash... so yeah, now I'm semi-loaded, but I'm putting most of it in the bank. BUT THE REST OF IT! I can use to buy Magic cards. <3

See? I really am a geek.

Also, I started studying yesterday, because I had nothing better to do. Therefore I'm also a nerd. Woah. I have no life. XD Nah, I was studying some psychology, which is the awesomest subject ever. =)

OH. But the biggest news of all...

I got a haircut. The long overdue haircut. I was supposed to two weeks ago on Wednesday (which I actually double booked with my glass class, BUT I FORGOT ABOUT BOTH OF THEM!!!) Yeah... That was bad. *shrugs* So I got it today... and heres the results:



Shit photo, but cannot be stuffed taking another one. =)

-jmah-

STUDY DAY #2

I didn't get up early to catch the sunrise. MEH! It was cause I stayed up too late last night, and cannot really afford to lose anymore of my beauty sleep right now.

But I was/am pretty productive today:

9ish - Woke up, breakfast, shower

10 - First exam (Psychology TFT 2005. Didn't have the assessment guide RAWRGH)

11:30ish - Went for lunch, walked to Tunstall and got fish and chips, 'cause I had a craving.... (Got home around 12:30) Ate. Marked some of my paper.

1 - Exam 2 (Chemistry VCAA 2008) Shit I failed. I ran out of time. I'm going insane. I realized that I started singing random shit to myself. And then I started reading the questions aloud in weird fob accents. I was trying to pronounce funny chemicals with an Indian accent. I'm seriously going crazy.

3 - Nowish. Got another hour to kill, before my next exam. *sigh* Probably do another psychology paper, 'cause chemistry kills my brain and any confidence I had in the subject in the first place.

Yes. That was my somewhat productive day. I gotta mark all these papers!!! D=

English SAC on Thursday. I'm not gonna study for it.

I'm dead.

-jmah-

NOTE:

More signs of insanity that I'm exhibiting:
-singing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" to myself. (while I do practice exams)
-singing Wicked to myself.... (while I do practice exams)
-dancing in my chair (while I do practice exams)
-trying to focus my eyes on two different spots of a white screen. o_o;;

Study day!

Today felt productive... until I realized how much time I actually spent at the library. T_T

I was at the library from around 10:20 or 10:30ish till around 1, i think... lets say I went to Tim's for lunch for around 30 min... so get back around 1:30, 1:45ish... Then I stay till 5:30.

2.5 + 3.5 = 6

Minus maybe... 30 min for reading mags so thats like 5.5 hours. And I did two exams under timed conditions and marked them and "analysed" them...

I guess its not bad. Actually I'm quite happy with it. Haha, my moods change as I blog. Yeah, I'm happy with it. =)

OKAY! Yeah, nothing interesting to blog about today. OH! And I'm planning to wake up early tomorrow to get some nice sunrise shots =) After I download all my photos tonight! And I HAVE A EMPTY CAMERA! YAY!

OH YEAH! And I made peanut butter brownies yesterday... They were an alright trial run I guess, but I gotta get them PERFECT. And I have other things I wanna try out. =D

-jmah-

Holding on to the past...

Random note before I go into my blog: I got a merit for school for the musical! I didn't even know until my mom read the school newsletter thing and was like "OH! You got a merit! But they mispelt your name..." xD

Now, I've realized a trend in my family. I think it's a trend anyways. I can only say this for the family members I live with though (that being my mom, second brother and I). As you can probably tell from the title, I think that this trend is holding on to the past. This is something I try NOT to do, but I think I still do it anyways. I don't think its good thing, to hold on, because then it feels like your peak has past... and that just means its all downhill from here, more or less.

What do I mean by "holding on"? Well, my brother, for example, always brings up his high school days, when he was in his high school choir, musicals, when he lived in Taiwan (because Taiwan is probably this exalted shrine in his head) and is constantly comparing everything to that.

My mom, on the other hand, constantly compares to China, where everything is cheap, shopkeepers are always trying to cheat their customers and there is always somewhat of a language barrier, which we often use to our advantage to speak amongst ourselves in our own tongue/English.

I don't know what I hold on to... I remember making a conscious decision to let go of China; let go of Taiwan. Like sure, they were good times... they were great times, but what is the point of comparing that to now? It does no good to me, so why bring it up? If anything, it makes me feel worse, because it SEEMS that those memories are so much better than whatever I'm doing/going through at the moment. But I think this is just a mindtrick, because memories become distorted and... "romaticized", if you like, over time.

Maybe I hold on to... people/relationships and schools. Oh, I know, I hold on to identity. Thats the one thing I think I hold on to. Ugh, maybe I hold on to a bit of everything. Its actually really hard to pinpoint something that I hold on to as "mental baggage".

I think I hold on the people quite a bit as well. Not that I'm clingy, am I? I certainly hope not. But like the relationships I have with friends are something I hold on to. But not to the point where I'm constantly thinking of friends who have walked out of my life already... so maybe it's not holding on.

Oh, I don't know. I hold on to stuff, but I'm not sure if I know what.

Thats the thought for the day.

-jmah-

NOTE: What I said about my brother and mom is my opinion and what I feel from them. Don't know if it is really what they are holding on to, but thats what it seems like. Maybe like psychoanalysis, as offered by Freud...

Freudian psychoanalysis refers to a specific type of treatment in which the "analysand" (analytic patient) verbalizes thoughts, including free associations, fantasies, and dreams, from which the analyst formulates the unconscious conflicts causing the patient's symptoms and character problems, and interprets them for the patient to create insight for resolution of the problems.
Source: WIKIPEDIA! =)

Haha... with the Freudian slips and all. o_o;; Yeaaah...

Swine flu? ENTER Calculator...

Well, I'm at home because I'm sick and the school said that we shouldnt go to school if we are exhibiting flu symptoms, until cleared by a docter.... So I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow.

And I have a trial exam today... so I'll still go in for that. I think... I don't want to. But I should... and I'll fail anyways, simply 'cause I suck at chemistry. Raawrgh.

I've been playing around with the ENTER calculator and I've found that art is not worth the effort! I need to get 36 to get the equivalent of my really crappy Chinese mark... And it is going to count as a bottom two anyways. So I've decided I'm not gonna put that much effort into it. Instead, I'm gonna put effort into my other subjects to get:

English: 42
Methods: 40
Chemistry: 35
Psychology: 48

And that gets me a 98! Whoot. But lookit this. This is what I would have to get to get 99

English: 45
Methods: 43
Chemistry: 42
Psychology 48

This is on the basis that I get NO 50s and English will be my second strongest subject (because I need it to be for Arts Dean's Scholar Program at Monash). The biggest change was chemistry by 7 marks. BLEH! Nah, 98 ftw... Now I should be studying for trial.... or doing papers. But I CBB. But I better head off to school now.

-jmah-

Another long day....

Oh. My. Gosh.

Who ever said VCE would be full of SO many long days?!

School was the usual. But I had a psychology trial at the end of the day... AND I VERBALLY SHITTED ON IT. Okay, not sure if that made sense. But I did SO CRAP in it. Was feeling pretty shit about it. MEH! It's only trial.

Last night, I did 1.5 practice exams... the one full one was done under timed conditions, and I did it in an hour! WH00T! with like...40 minutes to spare, so I couldn't be stuffed going through my answers, so I just checked it after taking a 5 minute break. I got 91%!! The other two which I've done I got 74% and 72%... shows what timed conditions does! Okay, but about today... IT TOOK ME THE WHOLE 1.75 HOURS! >.<;; NO TIME TO CHECK THROUGH! And I was rushing like shit at the end. FRACKING A. Eh. It's just a trial.

Anywho, my mind was soon taken off that when I was setting up rooms for debating... trying to study before debating... eating dinner.... prepping for debating.... and timekeeping for a debate. Woaah. Long process, and extremely unproductive. Before the debate, I did jack-crap amount of work. During prep for the secret topic "We should abolish religious schools", us being affirmative, I felt like I wasn't contributing. But I guess it was good for me to watch the prep. Then during the debate I was timekeeping, which involves basically clapping at 6 minutes and double clapping at 8... Fun?

Yeah, after all that I got home at like 9:40ish. Yay!

Now I'm here. Double yay!

Oh, I registered for the UMAT today.

What is the causes for compulsive lying? Is there a need? or something?? It confuses me.

And on that note... DADA!

-jmah-

BTW: Dada is an art period, which Man Ray played a big part in, alongside Marcel Duchamp. And it is also like "tata" the posh, somewhat preppy way, of saying "bye". So therefore my blog ended on a pun! Aha! I'm genius. Now it's not so funny. MEH!


EDIT:
Okay, actually that pun wasn't even funny to begin with. And something I wanted to add... I HAVEN'T BEEN TO CHURCH IN PROBABLY OVER A MONTH! WTH. Okay. Yeah... >.<;;

Bloggity blog blog blog: I DID SPORT TODAY. LYK TOTALLY ZOMGOSH.

I did sport today. Yay. It was actually good fun, ultimate frisbee. Haha, and Veale said that I was the most um.... ______ ______. I can't remember what he said, but it was about playing the game. xD It was good, it meant that I was putting effort into it. XD Yeah, I did sport. =)

Yeah... I was planning to start studying at 5, but now its 5:07, so this is gonna be short.

I think I'm gonna start bringing my camera around so I can get some good shots =) and... yes. Okay. OMGOSH. I DID MORE THROWING LAST NIGHT (pottery wheel). My inner thigh was so sore after, no idea why. And my arms were pretty tired today. Haha. I'm weaaak. But the clay is pretty damn tank... Like, I gotta put my whole body into it.... MY THIGHS?! Yeah, no idea. Anyways. Time to shower ('cause I did sport) and then STUDY! =)

-jmah-

Happy day!

I'm feeling happy today. No idea why, but I do. Haha.

It has been another long rehersal day... *sigh* It went till 5, and we didn't even get to run through act 2! RAWR!

So tomorrow we're gonna do a run of act 2, and a run of the whole show. Yay... And I miss like... most of school. I have two classes tomorrow. Yay?

Okay, something I do want to talk about. I think when talking about love, people limit themselves to what/who they can love. Like... what's to say that you can't/won't fall in love with someone who isn't that smart? Or something that is blue? We talked a bit about this in LinC, 'cause we were talking abouts friends and describing our ideal "best friend" which essentially would be future-partner. Or something of the like. Meh. I'll actually change topic and talk about that instead.

We had to think of 5 best friends and what they would say about us and what we would say about them... Haha... Yeah...

When I was in drama.com a while back, we did this exercise of um... "tapping into our emotions" or something like that. And it was actually really powerful stuff. I got the emotion "happiness" and I instantly thought of one of my best friends and the times that we've spent together and how much fun we would have together, and it made me happy. After, Fiona (the leader) was like "Oh, I could tell that you were really into it and you really felt that emotion." (along those lines), and I was just like "Woah..." XD

Yeah. =) Random tangent...

Double post day!

I just got back from shopping and dinner at Westfield...

I BOUGHT NEW EARPHONES.

Okay, I'll tell you all the story behind the earphones. It's not very long. I think I can summarize it in a line. Let me try...

Well, it was a bright summer day, or something of the like, and... wait... maybe a cool winter day. But that doesn't matter. And I came home from school one day... or was it from LinC? Maybe it was from LinC... And well Matt Tan came back with me... and I went upstairs to the toilet... and I came down and found my cat gnawing on my EXPENSIVE earphones that my dad got me for Christmas! D= THE SHOCK AND THE HORROR.

That was my failed attempt to summarize a story in a line. =)

So now I have new ones... which were EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE.... inflation, per-maybe-haps? D= BLIZZY IS NOT TOUCHING THESE BABIES! D=!!!

Okay. End post.

-jmah-

EDIT:
Haha, triple post?

First pair of earphones:





















Source: http://cache.gizmodo.com/images/2006/07/cx300.jpg

I didn't like how they seemed very... "fragile" and the plug felt really weak. The wire is extremely thin.

Second pair of earphones:











Source: http://www.headphones.lv/images/Galleries/Sennheiser/CX%20300%20II%20Precision/CX-300-II-Precision-Black.jpg

These feel more sturdy... and they COME WITH A POUCH! Big big big plus! I was thinking of NOT getting them because I thought they didn't have a carry case or something. BUT IT SUPRISED ME WITH A POUCH! It makes it all worth it. No, honestly, it does. I'm not being sarcastic although it may seem like it... and yeah... The jack feels SO MUCH sturdier in comparison as well.. haha...

So YAY!

I'm such a liar

I lied yesterday to you all. Actually that's bending the truth. I lied TWICE to you all.

I said I would study... well, I didn't study at all last night. Hahah.... MEH!

I was too pooped. Haha.

But now it's the weekend and I'm happy that it's finally HERE! =)

<3

Art SAC is OVAAAR! And that means someone is happy... guess who might that be? ME! Yayy. And probably everyone else in my art class... =)

When we're human again...

=)

Beauty and the Beast is coming along. TIRING.

I've basically cut myself off chatting. xD I don't haven't really been on skype, and I haven't talked to anyone on MSN. =) Probably 'cause I always have better things to do. But I'm trying to limit myself to MAIL and BLOG. That's it. Haha. It's less addictive and you can only do so much. Oh, and I have the phone. But rarely use that anywhos.

Art SAC is absolutely terrible. I'm gonna start studying for that after this... after a shower.... and... after maybe another bite. *sigh* I'll get to it when I get to it. I thought I made progress on my chess set this arvo, when I spent my double sport making 16 balls as pawns... then Ms. Brysha says that "THEY WELL CRACK OR EXPLODE. They have to be hollow!" Senadhi knew and he didn't even tell me! Rawr!

Haha. I just did some HTML editing... That's funny.

COME WATCH BEAUTY AND THE BEAST! Not because I want you to, but because YOU WANT TO! =)

Oh and a thought. Thoughts are scary o_o like... thoughts can be anything and everything and whatever whenever. Isn't that scary? I thought it was. Now I'm scaring myself.

Time to de-disgustify myself(shower). *shudders*

-jmah-

EDIT:
I lied. I F_C____KED for an hour...

Funky-as dreams!

Omgosh. I had the WEIRDEST dreams last night. Like REALLY WEIRD.

I had two. First one was weirder... I was looking for a toilet or something. Couldn't find one. But a few people were in my dream... um... EJ, Yung Han, Matt Tan, Jessie, Incy... hahah it was weird. Some of them were helping me find the toilet. xD And the toilets had themes... I went into a supposed to be Russian themed toilet... but it looked more like Wild Wild West theme. Haha... Yeaaah.. WEIIIRD.

Second dream was me and my brother looking for a restraunt/hostel place for his cell group and friends and stuff, and I was on a bike... and I got to the place because I recognized it and yeah... When I was there I saw everyone and went into another room and saw Chris and Cat on a couch... and Chris was like to me "We need to 'winew'" and I think I just understood it... and he explained to Cat "Winew is to clean... we have to clean upstairs..." ._.;; Weird. I know.

That's my post. =)

One part of one of the dreams actually came true today... hehe, that was pretty cool. =] And I'm not kidding. Like I was thinking about the dreams over and over and over again so I wouldn't forget it, and then something happened at school and I was like "WOAH! THAT HAPPENED IN MY DREAM! DEJA VU!"

Haha. Yeah. Now time to try and get some sleep for Art SAC tomorrow... and freaking Psychology work is bogging me down. =( And METHODS. OH MY SHIT. Okay, John. STOP STRESSING.

-jmah-

Columbia app and other things...

I didn't get in. I found out last night.

And I get on with life. =)

Today, I'm gonna be at school for most of the day, with Beauty and the Beast rehersal going from 11 - 5.... D= No study done! RAWR! I'm gonna try my hardest to study in between numbers and stuff. I've realized, I keep forgetting which line I'm singing... and when I do remember which line I'm supposed to be singing, I can't find the note! D= stupid harmonies.

And I should be leaving in 9 minutes, so I should really get of the computer and get ready to leave >.<

-jmah-

Blogging

Blogging is all good and all... but why blog when you can do? Doing is more fun than blogging. So now I'm gonna go do, and when I can't find anything to do, I'll blog. =)

This blog would've actually turned out as a "ZOMGOSH-LONG-DAY-POST" as well, if I blogged, so YAY! I'm not really blogging! Lucky you guys. =]

Be back later with news of the stuff I'm about to do. =D

Vegetate.

That's what I want to do. I want to vegetate. =D

In other news, I FINISHED A CHEM SAC TODAY! YAY! Haha, pretty relieved, and not feeling that bad about it. =)

But now I gotta do English assignment, Art research and draft essays and prepare for Psychology SAC on Friday. Yay. >.<;;

Well... when I find the time to do any of that, I'll let you guys know. In the meantime, I'm gonna go to my glass class... I had this expressionistic idea that I wanted to try on canvas, but I'm thinking it might be interesting on glass... =D Time to experiment!

-jmah-

P.S. Ew... my callouses are peeling... o_o;; and so my fingers are also funnily shaped. Yay. =)

"God's love does not discriminate...

So why should ours?"

I've been thinking about that for the whole week... I don't know, but it just keeps coming back to me. Today at CYR we were talking about how people see God in us, and Eugene brought up a point about love... or something on living by example. I really can't remember all that well, but I related it to the whole statement "God's love doesn't discriminate, so why should mine?" (slight variation) What does it matter who they are, what they believe in, their opinions, thoughts, mindsets, their race, culture, gender, age... what does any of it matter? They are all God's children as well... I've been reflecting on that, and I think that I don't love enough... Hmm. Although I say that, I think I'm a somewhat "loving"/accepting person... Some people would know why I would be, and for that very reason I should be even MORE accepting. But I still find myself with petty little biases and stuff. I loathe it. I detest it. I hate it with a passion. It's so hypocritical.

On another note, I've been pretty tired and then annoyed this past day. It was a busy day with CYR in the morning, Kim and Jason's wedding in the arvo (the church was done up so beautifully, and the wedding was gorgeous), LinC in the late arvo/early evening and dinner at Aunty Mary's at night(Aunty Mary's sweet and sour pork > life).

In between wedding and LinC, I took a nap! Your response should be "WOW, JOHN TOOK A NAP?!" Yes, THAT'S how tired I am/was. I took an hour nap to be woken up by my vibrating phone, when my mom called me to tell me to find a ride to LinC. But yeah, I quickly called my brother, dad and then Wes to get a ride. Haha....

Compounded with how tired I was, I got pretty annoyed at my dad when I was driving to Aunty Mary's. I don't know, he was picking up on the littlest things about my driving, and I think it was 'cause I was so tired that I got annoyed. In the end, I just said "Yes" and "Okay", because I knew that I was tired, too tired to argue, and that I was gonna just get more worked up and I was too tired for that... So when I got to Aunty Mary's I just talked to my mom for a bit about it... I think I prefer driving with my mom than my dad, 'cause she trusts me more. Before today, it would've been the other way around...

On the drive back from Aunty Mary's (I wasn't driving, because both my parents didn't trust me, and for good reason.) I was just singing/humming to the songs from my CDs and just thinking... I think I was convicted to apologize to a friend of mine, because I was pretty annoyed at them on Thursday... I haven't done it yet, and I'm pretty scared of doing it. I think another reason why I don't want to do it, is that he doesn't even know that I was ticked at him, although I did sorta dismiss one of his problems with one of my own in a very "I-DON'T-GIVE-A-FLYING-RAT's-ARSE" attitude. I'm not sure if he got that vibe from me, and even if he did, I think I might've tried to sound more caring after I heard myself totally ignore his problem and shove mine into his head.... Rawr. My "problem" isn't even a problem anymore. It like something Nathan said from the MedEntry lectures or something.... "If something is always on sale, its never on sale." Although I did basically shoot that statement down, I must say it does hold some truth. If you can relate that to what I said previously, I congratulate you.

ANOTHER thing that has been bothering me... slightly. Is my Columbia application... I haven't got word back, but I checked the website and the chemistry class is closed, which means its full, which means I didn't get in. BUT! I still have a chance of getting into the linguistics or arts one... AHH. I'm so nervous, I've been checking my mail every day, just hoping to see the e-mail. Everyone else has got word back, and they all got in (to one extent or another), so I'm just waiting for mine... *sigh* The pressure...

Now, I really should sleep, its 12:30 at night and I gotta get up for VCE Expo tomorrow... Yay...

And sorry if this post felt like a bitch, because it wasn't supposed to be, and if it is... I might as well delete this blog D= I stopped blogging on my Xanga, 'cause all I would do is bitch. So yeah. =\

G'niight.

-jmah-

PS VLOG!

Yay.

VLOG on sin

VLOG! REALLY! It sucks.

VLOG

Not. Ugh. I was meant to, but it was too long. So I'll re-record one soon. xD

Not a big update. Hi! Bye!

-jmah-

SCHOOL.

Fa-reak-ing-A.

School is scary shit, ya know?

I haven't blogged about my trip yet... but I don't really have too much to say about it? Hahha. I have photos and that might explain some, but I really cannot be bothered uploading over 1000 photos right now. Ugh, gotta post beach photos too... >.<;;

Well, school is school. Started on Friday... I'm not complaining too much about my classes. I just hate my psychology class!!! Raaawr. I know no one! D=< Not that I'll blab about that... But it's just weird. Maybe it'll be good for me though. I dunno.

I haven't had Art yet, but I've thought about it over the summer, and I really don't know what I've gotten myself into. Oh shit. Speaking of which, I've signed myself up got a glass...moulding, I think it was, workshop. Starts on Tuesday, and it goes for... two months. ._. Oh my gosh, seriously, what did I get myself into?!

Okay, things on my mind:
1) Summer school application! Rargh! I need a letter of recommendation from a teacher who has worked closely with my work. And as if I would go to Kemp for that. No freaking way. And I have a new teacher this year, Delaney or something. Haven't met him yet... But I've gotta give him a few weeks to get to know my work to be able to write the letter. Hmmm. I can't wait to go, if I get in...

2) More exams? I'm thinking of piling myself up with exams this year. I don't really know whether thats smartor not... I've done my SATs (which, by the way, I'm gonna have to do AGAIN, 'cause I didn't really prepare hard enough for it), and I have my SAT 2s (Around 4 of them, two of them seriously, not even sure if I'll do the other two, or just do them half-assedly) to do... On top of that, I'm contemplating taking AP exams as well... if I did, I'd take like... 6 of them, and they are in May. Which means I gotta finish the VCE Methods and Chem course PRETTY DAMN FAST. Rargh. The choices.... It really all depends on where do I really want to go....

3) Me? I feel so looost!! Seriously, when I went on vacation, I went on vacation from alot of things... including GOD! Rargh! Now I feel like so many different things. What I mean is... I've always managed to identify myself as a child of God, but now its just like... I'm that and I'm something else. But can't I be both?! O_O This may just sound confusing as shit, but I don't know how to explain it. I just can't seem to piece myself together. There are so many things which I'm on both sides for and now it just doesn't seem to make sense. It all seemed perfectly fine BEFORE I left...so what changed??

As strange is it may sound, I've found that although Christian friends are great, I don't always realize how much I need my non-Christian friends too. Honestly, if it weren't for some of them, I probably wouldn't be Christian. Strange, eh?

Yeah, a general blog. I'll vlog soon. But I've got school tmr, so I'm gonna go to bed.

-jmah-

Singapore/Malaysia

Blah. I really can't be bothered writing this blog, but since someone asked me to, I will.

Okay, so I'm in Malaysia right now on a friend's computer so no photos atm. =(

Hehe. Yeah, it's been an aight. Good food. =) Can't wait till CNY!!!

I'll just letchu all know a little bit about the Mah family CNY tradition. So what we do is we all go down to a place near Singapore called Muar, in Johor (A state in Malaysia). And thats basically the Mah Ancestral Home... it's really cool. Basically we go down and theres like... my dad and his 7 siblings and their familys (6 of them married with 3 kids each) and the aunts of theirs and cousins and maids and my neices and nephews all squeeze into a small home. It's really awesome actually. It never seemed odd to me, until I actually THOUGHT about it. Hahah. How we fit SO many people into such a small home... and with only one bathroom and one toilet.

So on the eve of CNY, we have a MASSIVE reunion dinner and play with fireworks and crap. And the 8 siblings gamble and crap. And we watch movies and stuff. Hehe... Yeaah. I don't know what else to say? Oh yeah and we drive around and go to relatives/family friends places and stuff and bring oranges and stuff... in exchange for red packets of money. =O!! *sigh*

Well, I'll take photos of THAT for sure. That is seriously a Mah family feat! Hahah. I love my family. My cousins are so awesome too. I've realized we have sorta tiers of cousinhood now. It's like subgenerations in the one generation. For example, my eldest brother's subgeneration is all my cousins around his age, and my subgeneration is the ones around my age. We have like.... 3 or 4 tiers? I'd say 1)Married 2)Working-age 3)Around my age, highschool/university 4)Young'uns. Yeah... There is some overlap, but thats generally how it is. Maybe I'll put up a family tree on my Dad's side as well. Hahah. But yeah. Thats all i have to say.

Photos to come!! =)

Oh and general updates on life:
I'm planning to go summer school again at Columbia! If I get accepted. >.<;; With some really awesome people this time =P

I have my SATs on this Saturday and I'm so unprepared. I'm aiming for above 1800 out of 2400... But then I'll still have to resit it sometime =.=;;

And after that I gotta do all my freaking holiday homework, which I've left to pile up. YAY!

Students Alive/Jesus at MacRob

Today I went to the city for a SA/JAM meeting and it was really good. I got to meet the two leaders of JAM and we had lunch at a MALAYSIAN RESTRAUNT! Haha, 'cause two of us are Malaysian and the other two are part Malaysian... Wh00t.

Yeah, we got to share a lot of experiences and ideas. It's getting me pretty pumped about Students Alive, as long as it's all prepared and stuff.... I want more ideas so we can actually plan out most of our events before school starts so there is LESS pressure on us during the year. I also want to rope in some people into leadership. Okay, that sounds bad. I want to ASK some people to join leadership. NATHAN YII. Yes, come to the dark side. MUAHAHHA. Yeah and other people. =)

Ahhh I really can't think of what to write. Our meeting went pretty well and it was really great to meet people who are so passionate about high school ministry. I think I used to be, but I've sorta died down now. TIME TO REIGNITE THE FLAAAME. Haha. Yeah, that's another resolution.

=) Short blog, 'cause I can't be bothered right now. =DD