Moral dilemma

Rargh. Get ready for a pure whammy of bitch-blog.

I'm quite ticked off at the moment.

Right now I hate myself, I hate my conscience, I hate any conviction I have to do the right thing, I hate having morals, and I hate ethics altogether. Who gives a flying fudgehorn whats wrong or whats right?

Ugh. I'm just sick of trying to be a "good" person. It only makes more trouble and me annoyed more.

Don't get me wrong here, I do believe there is a good and a bad, a right and a wrong. It's just that I hate being good enough to see the bad...

If that makes ANY sense at all.

And seeing the bad JUST PISSES ME OFF. Why do people have to lie, steal, kill? Why do people have to be so phony? Why are people so selfish?!

Again, that's not to say that I'm "Little Miss Perfect", but when I can be morally right, I try to be morally right.

Ugh.

Be a human being and do the right freaking thing.

Goodness gracious GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

I haven't blogged for such a long time. I haven't been on MSN for a week (or more?) now. Haha, I realized that, 'cause deary dear Fitty Tang left me an offline message a week ago and I just got it today. Haha...

Well, lots has happened in the past week (being the last week of school and all). It's been so busy and rushed.

On Tuesday I got a call from work, but didn't realize that it was work until 10PM and I called back to find no one manning the phones. I called after school on Wednesday and talked to my new nightfill manager and he asked me if I wanted to work that day, so I went in... And he was pretty full on about his expectations and stuff. I think hes a good guy though. Work was good, I worked with some really nice people and I got to leave on time, so that was good. The one thing that ticked me off a little was this one guy when I was supposed to be doing "training". So "training" is just watching this DVD in the tea room. But before my manager gets there, I'm just walking around in the room reading all the posters and I recognized one guy as someone I've worked with before. I'll call him Bob. Bob was a nice guy, but I didn't like his attitude too much. He is quite the pervy as well. ._.;; The last time I met him, we talked about Japan and Japanese and stuff. Yeah... Well back to the training. So I notice him as a member of the safety and whatnot team and so I'm like "Hmm... cool." My manager comes in and puts the DVD on. After like 5 minutes, EVERYONE starts coming into the tea room for their break. The TV is this tiny little thing with not the best sound projection. So by now I'm a tad frustrated. Then after a while, everyone is talking, and this other guy and I are trying to watch the DVD, but we were already struggling to hear what the video was saying, Bob comes over and turns the volume down. WTF. Isn't he supposed to take responsibility for whether we know the safety procedures and whatnots? Not the mention the irony in that the video was all about "doing the right thing". Bleh! That was annoying.

Thursday I spent the whole day baking, once I got home from school. Baked brownies for school and people. And also made more rice balls for dinner. =)

FRIDAY! Last day of school, and I went to watch Transformers.

AVENUE Q! Excited.

TUITION! Sorta not really excited.

DAY SKI TRIP! Damn excited.

CHINK SCHOOL FRIENDS NANDOS CHALLENGE THINGY! Fun fun.

Oh, but the biggest news of all...

I HAVE A POTTERY WHEEL! =) I'm happy. I'll take pictures and show you guys later, because I have to get to youth now. =)

-jmah-

Relaxxx...

Damn right, exams are over.

=)

Haha, but I've been a nerd/geek the past few days.

Finished the last of my exams on Thursday and went out for Korean BBQ with whole buncha people from everywhere. 'twas big... food was good. =) I like.

I've been playing alot of MTG (Magic the Gathering =DDD) recently. Heehee. I made a deal with my parents about exams regarding the number of practice exam papers I do and cash... so yeah, now I'm semi-loaded, but I'm putting most of it in the bank. BUT THE REST OF IT! I can use to buy Magic cards. <3

See? I really am a geek.

Also, I started studying yesterday, because I had nothing better to do. Therefore I'm also a nerd. Woah. I have no life. XD Nah, I was studying some psychology, which is the awesomest subject ever. =)

OH. But the biggest news of all...

I got a haircut. The long overdue haircut. I was supposed to two weeks ago on Wednesday (which I actually double booked with my glass class, BUT I FORGOT ABOUT BOTH OF THEM!!!) Yeah... That was bad. *shrugs* So I got it today... and heres the results:



Shit photo, but cannot be stuffed taking another one. =)

-jmah-

STUDY DAY #2

I didn't get up early to catch the sunrise. MEH! It was cause I stayed up too late last night, and cannot really afford to lose anymore of my beauty sleep right now.

But I was/am pretty productive today:

9ish - Woke up, breakfast, shower

10 - First exam (Psychology TFT 2005. Didn't have the assessment guide RAWRGH)

11:30ish - Went for lunch, walked to Tunstall and got fish and chips, 'cause I had a craving.... (Got home around 12:30) Ate. Marked some of my paper.

1 - Exam 2 (Chemistry VCAA 2008) Shit I failed. I ran out of time. I'm going insane. I realized that I started singing random shit to myself. And then I started reading the questions aloud in weird fob accents. I was trying to pronounce funny chemicals with an Indian accent. I'm seriously going crazy.

3 - Nowish. Got another hour to kill, before my next exam. *sigh* Probably do another psychology paper, 'cause chemistry kills my brain and any confidence I had in the subject in the first place.

Yes. That was my somewhat productive day. I gotta mark all these papers!!! D=

English SAC on Thursday. I'm not gonna study for it.

I'm dead.

-jmah-

NOTE:

More signs of insanity that I'm exhibiting:
-singing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" to myself. (while I do practice exams)
-singing Wicked to myself.... (while I do practice exams)
-dancing in my chair (while I do practice exams)
-trying to focus my eyes on two different spots of a white screen. o_o;;

Study day!

Today felt productive... until I realized how much time I actually spent at the library. T_T

I was at the library from around 10:20 or 10:30ish till around 1, i think... lets say I went to Tim's for lunch for around 30 min... so get back around 1:30, 1:45ish... Then I stay till 5:30.

2.5 + 3.5 = 6

Minus maybe... 30 min for reading mags so thats like 5.5 hours. And I did two exams under timed conditions and marked them and "analysed" them...

I guess its not bad. Actually I'm quite happy with it. Haha, my moods change as I blog. Yeah, I'm happy with it. =)

OKAY! Yeah, nothing interesting to blog about today. OH! And I'm planning to wake up early tomorrow to get some nice sunrise shots =) After I download all my photos tonight! And I HAVE A EMPTY CAMERA! YAY!

OH YEAH! And I made peanut butter brownies yesterday... They were an alright trial run I guess, but I gotta get them PERFECT. And I have other things I wanna try out. =D

-jmah-