OKAY. Yeah, this might be long, 'cause I gotta say something about the many festivities that have been going on the past few days....
First off Christmas and my birthday (sorta interrelated). Well, when I went Christmas shopping I spent A LOT of money. A LOT. Nearly half my savings (which i dug into for Christmas)... gone in a day of shopping. ._. It was fun, but tiring as SHIT as well. But yeah. I spent so much money, but I felt alright about it. I was thinking that it's going to my friends anyways, so it's all good. But at the end of the day I was just like "Wow shit. I have no money left." So I thought that I'll just make it back up from work/CNY and stuff... The giving part of it was fun; thinking of present ideas, looking around, shopping around, buying the stuff for other people. It feels good. After my birthday, I realized that God provides and the giving is all worth it. In terms of finances, I got back all the money I spent on friend's on my birthday. This isn't in terms of presents, but as in cold, hard cash. If you add in the monetary value of the presents I received, its at LEAST threefold of what I spent. In terms of VALUE of the presents, I'm lost for words at how amazing they are. The time and effort and sentimental value *ahemcocoabutterahem* of each one means a lot to me, so THANK YOU GUYS. (I'm still going spaz on FREAKING BILLY ELLIOT TICKETS?!?!?!? WAHSHIT.) Thank you so much guys, for making my (two days early) birthday, such an awesome day that I could spend with friends. Time and time again, I thank God for each and every one of you. =)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Welcome '09! Cast out the old and ring in the new!
Well, this year started pretty boring... I was playing DS when it was 12:00. xD And I spent today lazing around watching Friends (SEASON 10, WHICH I GOT FOR MY BDAY AND HAVEN'T SEEN!!! RAAAAAAAAAWRGH!!! Thanks again.)
Okay, my New Year's Resolutions are:
1) STUDY LIKE SHIT. Be really really prepared and consistent with work. GOOD consistent.
2) Lose WEIGHT. Again. xD At least... 10kg?
3) Lower my phone bills! >.<;;
4) Vlog/blog more! =DD
Okay. Theres a few more, but I can't think of em right now. But yeah. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Anonymous blogging?
Okay, first off, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR. =)
Yarr. Well, I was thinking of starting an anonymous blog with fictional names and no names of places and stuff, because that way I can be ENTIRELY honest. Not that I'm NOT honest here, but it's just that I can be MORE honest and more open about anything and everything. Like I could talk about taboo topics here, but it would be awkward.
But on the other hand, if I make an anonymous blog, then what is holding me to what is TRUE. It's ironic that I want to make a blog to become TRUER, but isn't being more open than I actually am not true? (Sorta bad example...) Or what if I take it as an opportunity to be who I'm not; to be something or someone I want to be rather than the true person that I am.
The only way to stop that from happening is having something/someone to keep me accountable. But then I don't want just anyone to know that it's my blog. So I need to really think about it, if I want to start that blog.
I want to write that blog, because I guess it'll help me find me better. I've defined myself in a certain way already, but to express myself in the way I want to be expressed, I guess, is difficult. Not that I'm not happy to be who I am, I've gotten passed that stage and I think in the sense of self-acceptance and further development of self-discovery and identity, the blog would help. The problem is people I consider FRIENDs may not be as accepting of me. It's complicated. I know theres most of my friends (people who read this blog included) are pretty supportive and all. =)
The big question is: would you judge me differently if you knew more about me?
The answer to that is YES, unless you're in denial. For example, if you knew about my family relationships and family history, if you knew about my friends in other schools, if you knew about MY history, if you knew about what side I take on issues of society... you would think of me differently, whether it be worse or better. But nonetheless, DIFFERENTLY. That's what I don't think I can face. Call me a coward, but I think it would be really hard to face friends who would so easily change their views of you if they found out that you hated Asians or love neopets (neither of which I do).
Yes. My SoT (Splurge of thought). =)
NEXT POST TOPIC: New Year's Resolutions!! Maybe...
Yarr. Well, I was thinking of starting an anonymous blog with fictional names and no names of places and stuff, because that way I can be ENTIRELY honest. Not that I'm NOT honest here, but it's just that I can be MORE honest and more open about anything and everything. Like I could talk about taboo topics here, but it would be awkward.
But on the other hand, if I make an anonymous blog, then what is holding me to what is TRUE. It's ironic that I want to make a blog to become TRUER, but isn't being more open than I actually am not true? (Sorta bad example...) Or what if I take it as an opportunity to be who I'm not; to be something or someone I want to be rather than the true person that I am.
The only way to stop that from happening is having something/someone to keep me accountable. But then I don't want just anyone to know that it's my blog. So I need to really think about it, if I want to start that blog.
I want to write that blog, because I guess it'll help me find me better. I've defined myself in a certain way already, but to express myself in the way I want to be expressed, I guess, is difficult. Not that I'm not happy to be who I am, I've gotten passed that stage and I think in the sense of self-acceptance and further development of self-discovery and identity, the blog would help. The problem is people I consider FRIENDs may not be as accepting of me. It's complicated. I know theres most of my friends (people who read this blog included) are pretty supportive and all. =)
The big question is: would you judge me differently if you knew more about me?
The answer to that is YES, unless you're in denial. For example, if you knew about my family relationships and family history, if you knew about my friends in other schools, if you knew about MY history, if you knew about what side I take on issues of society... you would think of me differently, whether it be worse or better. But nonetheless, DIFFERENTLY. That's what I don't think I can face. Call me a coward, but I think it would be really hard to face friends who would so easily change their views of you if they found out that you hated Asians or love neopets (neither of which I do).
Yes. My SoT (Splurge of thought). =)
NEXT POST TOPIC: New Year's Resolutions!! Maybe...
Thursday, December 18, 2008
God, faith, friends and parents (oh and explanation to blog title!)
Okay, I'll try and type up the stuff which disappeared the other day. Why I said I might be writing with the wrong motivation was because I was feeling bleh about some stuff, and I guess I was writing that because I was just being moody. Now I'll write it, but with less of a/an bias/emotional attachment.
I seemed to have spark a little argument in my last post about the big three letter word. GOD. To me, God exists. To Lydia, maybe not, but I love her all the same =P That reminds me of something I was thinking about this morning.... I kept thinking the lines "Hate the sin, love the sinner." This isn't saying that I hate Lydia (No, no, you are far too lovely, my bubblicious puppycakes =P). But it was just a random thought I had today. It's strange how so many people have lost sight of love, but instead would rather pick up loathing and hatred towards people who *ahem* "sin". But seeing that EVERYONE sins... hypocrites!
Spiritually, I feel like I'm pretty... "small". I don't have much faith, I have my doubts, circumstances keep me on the fence for many things. And this is weird, because I'm supposed to be a leader of Students Alive, the Christian group at my school. Unknown to me, however, was that other people knew that I'm a leader of SA. I found this out when I was sitting in the library with Josh Wong and two of his friends, and his friends (A and B) were talking amongst themselves. There conversation went something like:
A: I haven't really been praying recent, I don't know whether I'm praying right or something, but I don't feel like I'm talking to God...
B: Oh... well... why don't you ask Johnmah?
This was a shock to me. I'm no spiritual counsellor or pastor or anything like that. I, in no way, have my Bible knowledge downpat, let alone my faith in the Bible err... "intact". I have my own struggles with my faith. From another perspective, EVERYONE has struggles with their faith, even pastors and stuff. I recently sorta 'went back to basics' if that makes sense, because I basically just tried to take away any human bias' from mind and look through arguments for and against certain issues and then make my own mind up. It's like clearing a slate and filling it back up, but organizing it.
I've talked to people about the Christian faith and all... and someone made a really good point, in that we have split the religion Christianity into two parts: Church and Christianity. The difference is that Church has rules and regulations to govern it's people in order to maintain face value. I reckon, anyways. For example, they can't keep a pastor who rapes little children a pastor, as not only will the public rage, but the congregation won't be very trusting. So the Church will make the decision to demote them and help them um... "normalize". >.<;; (For lack of a better word)
Christianity, on the other hand, is a living faith of living a righteous and morally right lifestyle. This involves loving sinners, despite their sins. A lot of the time, we don't see how many people get hurt just because we follow Church rather than Christianity and it's just so saddening to see that too often people turn away God because of it.
On a more happier note, I'm so grateful for my friends and family. The other day, I just realize how much I rely on a few of my really close friends. Lidders, despite you're anti-God, anti-religious, atheistic views and all... without you, I wouldn't have accepted myself as the way I am. I've realized that I'm not that bright a student in academics, but maybe I'm just not meant to be. And because of the "mentality" that you have helped build in me, I accept that maybe I would do better in other areas other than academics. That was a weird/bad example, but thank you. =)
Seaweedgirl, zomgosh. Freaking. Without YOU! GEEZ. Seeing as you are the only one of my reallllly close friends to live actually IN THE SAME COUNTRY, I swear I could not live without you. I'm so glad we have "mutual understandings" on so many different levels. XD Thank you for being my shoulder to lean on, rock I stand upon and, most of all, net to catch me when I'm down. =D
JMee, yes indeed after all these years, we can STILL talk about anything and everything. You better be in Singapore when I get there.... or else I might just have to kill you. =P Btw, don't stress too much, and if you ever needa talk, you know how to find me, or just pop me an email =) I'm always willing to listen/read.
=) Love you guys all to death.
Raargh! I'm so grateful that my mom is so accepting of my marks and stuff. I don't know whether that makes me complacent, because shes so accepting of my marks and all... but yeah. I love her for that. I just hope and pray that she will accept me and support me, no matter the choices I make in life, through the mistakes I make in life and just the way I eventually turn out. As with the rest of my family.
Oh, I also wanted to talk about my blog name and why it's called imperfectlyfound.
It has two meanings: "imperfectly found" and "I'm perfectly found".
This basically means that I am found imperfect, but the act of being FOUND was perfect. Although it may seem like the second one means that I'm perfect, but that would be "I'm found perfect" and the use of "perfectly" is an adverb describing "found" and thus the act of being found was perfect. If that makes sene at all. Haha.
-jmah-
[EDIT: Oh, just 'cause I don't name other people, doesn't mean I don't <3 them too. I <3 most of you all anyways. =) These guys are just "speshol"er. See how I wrote that? ER! That means you all are speshol too. =P]
I seemed to have spark a little argument in my last post about the big three letter word. GOD. To me, God exists. To Lydia, maybe not, but I love her all the same =P That reminds me of something I was thinking about this morning.... I kept thinking the lines "Hate the sin, love the sinner." This isn't saying that I hate Lydia (No, no, you are far too lovely, my bubblicious puppycakes =P). But it was just a random thought I had today. It's strange how so many people have lost sight of love, but instead would rather pick up loathing and hatred towards people who *ahem* "sin". But seeing that EVERYONE sins... hypocrites!
Spiritually, I feel like I'm pretty... "small". I don't have much faith, I have my doubts, circumstances keep me on the fence for many things. And this is weird, because I'm supposed to be a leader of Students Alive, the Christian group at my school. Unknown to me, however, was that other people knew that I'm a leader of SA. I found this out when I was sitting in the library with Josh Wong and two of his friends, and his friends (A and B) were talking amongst themselves. There conversation went something like:
A: I haven't really been praying recent, I don't know whether I'm praying right or something, but I don't feel like I'm talking to God...
B: Oh... well... why don't you ask Johnmah?
This was a shock to me. I'm no spiritual counsellor or pastor or anything like that. I, in no way, have my Bible knowledge downpat, let alone my faith in the Bible err... "intact". I have my own struggles with my faith. From another perspective, EVERYONE has struggles with their faith, even pastors and stuff. I recently sorta 'went back to basics' if that makes sense, because I basically just tried to take away any human bias' from mind and look through arguments for and against certain issues and then make my own mind up. It's like clearing a slate and filling it back up, but organizing it.
I've talked to people about the Christian faith and all... and someone made a really good point, in that we have split the religion Christianity into two parts: Church and Christianity. The difference is that Church has rules and regulations to govern it's people in order to maintain face value. I reckon, anyways. For example, they can't keep a pastor who rapes little children a pastor, as not only will the public rage, but the congregation won't be very trusting. So the Church will make the decision to demote them and help them um... "normalize". >.<;; (For lack of a better word)
Christianity, on the other hand, is a living faith of living a righteous and morally right lifestyle. This involves loving sinners, despite their sins. A lot of the time, we don't see how many people get hurt just because we follow Church rather than Christianity and it's just so saddening to see that too often people turn away God because of it.
On a more happier note, I'm so grateful for my friends and family. The other day, I just realize how much I rely on a few of my really close friends. Lidders, despite you're anti-God, anti-religious, atheistic views and all... without you, I wouldn't have accepted myself as the way I am. I've realized that I'm not that bright a student in academics, but maybe I'm just not meant to be. And because of the "mentality" that you have helped build in me, I accept that maybe I would do better in other areas other than academics. That was a weird/bad example, but thank you. =)
Seaweedgirl, zomgosh. Freaking. Without YOU! GEEZ. Seeing as you are the only one of my reallllly close friends to live actually IN THE SAME COUNTRY, I swear I could not live without you. I'm so glad we have "mutual understandings" on so many different levels. XD Thank you for being my shoulder to lean on, rock I stand upon and, most of all, net to catch me when I'm down. =D
JMee, yes indeed after all these years, we can STILL talk about anything and everything. You better be in Singapore when I get there.... or else I might just have to kill you. =P Btw, don't stress too much, and if you ever needa talk, you know how to find me, or just pop me an email =) I'm always willing to listen/read.
=) Love you guys all to death.
Raargh! I'm so grateful that my mom is so accepting of my marks and stuff. I don't know whether that makes me complacent, because shes so accepting of my marks and all... but yeah. I love her for that. I just hope and pray that she will accept me and support me, no matter the choices I make in life, through the mistakes I make in life and just the way I eventually turn out. As with the rest of my family.
Oh, I also wanted to talk about my blog name and why it's called imperfectlyfound.
It has two meanings: "imperfectly found" and "I'm perfectly found".
This basically means that I am found imperfect, but the act of being FOUND was perfect. Although it may seem like the second one means that I'm perfect, but that would be "I'm found perfect" and the use of "perfectly" is an adverb describing "found" and thus the act of being found was perfect. If that makes sene at all. Haha.
-jmah-
[EDIT: Oh, just 'cause I don't name other people, doesn't mean I don't <3 them too. I <3 most of you all anyways. =) These guys are just "speshol"er. See how I wrote that? ER! That means you all are speshol too. =P]
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Birthday wishes...
Don't really have any, actually. And its not even that close to my birthday yet! XD CHRISTMAS IS AROUND THE CORNER! (CRAP! Christmas shopping. >.<)
But it's sorta related to my blogging. Cause I really wanna do vlogs, and don't wanna type as much, so I asked a friend to get me a webcam for my birthday. First time in a long time, if ever, I reckon, that I've asked someone who's not family to get me something. xD Cause according to my parents I've already used my birthday AND Christmas gifts. Hahaha, oh well.
Honestly, apart from a webcam, there's not much else I want. Wait. I just lied. There's a lot I want. But nothing purchasable by cash, efpos, or even MASTERCARD.
I've been swimming more recently, and I feel good about that. But I'm not losing any weight, damnit. >.<
Oh, ok VCE results. (Ugh! I have alot to write about, already know what I'm gonna write for next paragraph! XDD) I didn't do great. For Japanese, I got okay, but then I found out I got rejected by my principal to do University Japanese. I got a bit cut, but (above paragraph) prayed about it and then realized that maybe this is what God planned, cause He wants me to focus on all my other subjects and all (OH! ANOTHER PARAGRAPH IDEA! PHYSICAL MENTAL NOTE: PSYCHOLOGY!). Hmm. Chinese I failed. If I did second language, I might have done alright, but I didn't. *shrugs* Already stop caring! XD Not in a bad way, but like. It just passed me by, and now its over. So now what?
OH CRAP. I forgot my idea when I wrote that first bracketed sentence in the previous paragraph. Damnit. Maybe it was something about how everyone went VCE crazy and stuff. *shrugs* But psychology. Okay, this is a really REALLY weird story, but I'll tell you guys anyways. So this is how it all went down............. I was just at school and after a period of singing or something, my name was called out to see Mr. Sloan the daily organizer and subject coordinator or something. This was regarding my subjects, because the subjects I put down were: ENGLISH ENGLISH LANGUAGE ----> (IF NOT, THEN JAPANESE)
MATH METHODS
CHEMISTRY
ART
So I went to see him and because Eng Lang isn't running, I changed to Japanese, but I had a funny feeling. I was thinking "Why should I do it again? It's fun and all, but is it WORTH it? What if I do well in it? Then theres no point! Or what if I don't get into Uni Jap? Then what is gonna motivate me to do REALLY well?" As it turns out, didn't do great and didn't get into University Japanese. *shrugs* ANYWAYS, on with the story.
So I was talking with friends, and a good friend of mine was like "DO PSYCH!" and that got me thinking.... "Maybe I should do Psych... I've already done Unit 1.... so....it cant be too hard, yeah? and its more worth it than doing Japanese again" So I went to Sloan again, and asked to be changed to Psych, and he said that someone just pulled out of it and there was ONE spot left. AND ONLY ONE SPOT. (Thank God!) And so, being the opportunist that I am, I jumped at it and said I'll take it. I reasoned out that it would be easier to jump into Japanese, than jump into Psych if it's THAT full. So I got the place! Whoot!
Later that day, I was looking around school for lingering year 12s trying to sell books, but no one had Psych... depressing!!! And then the first call I made was to this pretty awesome guy SLo and.... he didn't pick up. BUT! Later on he called me back and told me that he still had his Psych books! Btw, by this point, I've virtually bought ALL my books already, and because Psych was so last minute, I had to start scavenging for books. So he had books! YAY!
Right after I closed the deal with SLo, Josh came up to me and was like "DOES HE HAVE METHODS BOOKS?!??! AND ENGLISH BOOKS?!" or something like that. So I called SLo again and ask him, and he said that he has NO BOOKS LEFT! He only has Psych books left. WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?! (THANK GOD AGAIN!)
All this was already pretty mindboggling. When I brought it up with another friend, he was like "You could just be overthinking it" and yes, I usually overthink. So I dwindled down about it. Tried not to think about it so much.
AND THEN! A few days later or something, I'm with Josh again and we are talking, I decide to tell him about it. All I said was like "You know, with the whole Psychology deal..." and he was like "God did it." IS THIS OBVIOUS CONFIRMATION OR WHAT?! (THANK GOD AGAIN AGAIN!)
Yeah, so thats the story.
BUT OMGOSH. I looked back at the post, and I realized, SOMEHOW one of the paragraphs disappeared. DAMNIT. Aw crap, it was TWO paragraphs (pretty damn long ones at that!)! Or at least TWO MAIN IDEAS! DAMN! Maybe it means I shouldn't write about it.... Hm.. I'll jot the thoughts down, and I'll write about it again some other time, maybe, if I feel its right. (It didn't feel right when I wrote it the first time. Probably wrong motivation. But I might write about it. In due time.)
Idea1: Friends (Lidders, Seaweedgirl, Jmee)
Idea2: God and prayer
I'm out for the night.
-jmah-
But it's sorta related to my blogging. Cause I really wanna do vlogs, and don't wanna type as much, so I asked a friend to get me a webcam for my birthday. First time in a long time, if ever, I reckon, that I've asked someone who's not family to get me something. xD Cause according to my parents I've already used my birthday AND Christmas gifts. Hahaha, oh well.
Honestly, apart from a webcam, there's not much else I want. Wait. I just lied. There's a lot I want. But nothing purchasable by cash, efpos, or even MASTERCARD.
I've been swimming more recently, and I feel good about that. But I'm not losing any weight, damnit. >.<
Oh, ok VCE results. (Ugh! I have alot to write about, already know what I'm gonna write for next paragraph! XDD) I didn't do great. For Japanese, I got okay, but then I found out I got rejected by my principal to do University Japanese. I got a bit cut, but (above paragraph) prayed about it and then realized that maybe this is what God planned, cause He wants me to focus on all my other subjects and all (OH! ANOTHER PARAGRAPH IDEA! PHYSICAL MENTAL NOTE: PSYCHOLOGY!). Hmm. Chinese I failed. If I did second language, I might have done alright, but I didn't. *shrugs* Already stop caring! XD Not in a bad way, but like. It just passed me by, and now its over. So now what?
OH CRAP. I forgot my idea when I wrote that first bracketed sentence in the previous paragraph. Damnit. Maybe it was something about how everyone went VCE crazy and stuff. *shrugs* But psychology. Okay, this is a really REALLY weird story, but I'll tell you guys anyways. So this is how it all went down............. I was just at school and after a period of singing or something, my name was called out to see Mr. Sloan the daily organizer and subject coordinator or something. This was regarding my subjects, because the subjects I put down were: ENGLISH ENGLISH LANGUAGE ----> (IF NOT, THEN JAPANESE)
MATH METHODS
CHEMISTRY
ART
So I went to see him and because Eng Lang isn't running, I changed to Japanese, but I had a funny feeling. I was thinking "Why should I do it again? It's fun and all, but is it WORTH it? What if I do well in it? Then theres no point! Or what if I don't get into Uni Jap? Then what is gonna motivate me to do REALLY well?" As it turns out, didn't do great and didn't get into University Japanese. *shrugs* ANYWAYS, on with the story.
So I was talking with friends, and a good friend of mine was like "DO PSYCH!" and that got me thinking.... "Maybe I should do Psych... I've already done Unit 1.... so....it cant be too hard, yeah? and its more worth it than doing Japanese again" So I went to Sloan again, and asked to be changed to Psych, and he said that someone just pulled out of it and there was ONE spot left. AND ONLY ONE SPOT. (Thank God!) And so, being the opportunist that I am, I jumped at it and said I'll take it. I reasoned out that it would be easier to jump into Japanese, than jump into Psych if it's THAT full. So I got the place! Whoot!
Later that day, I was looking around school for lingering year 12s trying to sell books, but no one had Psych... depressing!!! And then the first call I made was to this pretty awesome guy SLo and.... he didn't pick up. BUT! Later on he called me back and told me that he still had his Psych books! Btw, by this point, I've virtually bought ALL my books already, and because Psych was so last minute, I had to start scavenging for books. So he had books! YAY!
Right after I closed the deal with SLo, Josh came up to me and was like "DOES HE HAVE METHODS BOOKS?!??! AND ENGLISH BOOKS?!" or something like that. So I called SLo again and ask him, and he said that he has NO BOOKS LEFT! He only has Psych books left. WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?! (THANK GOD AGAIN!)
All this was already pretty mindboggling. When I brought it up with another friend, he was like "You could just be overthinking it" and yes, I usually overthink. So I dwindled down about it. Tried not to think about it so much.
AND THEN! A few days later or something, I'm with Josh again and we are talking, I decide to tell him about it. All I said was like "You know, with the whole Psychology deal..." and he was like "God did it." IS THIS OBVIOUS CONFIRMATION OR WHAT?! (THANK GOD AGAIN AGAIN!)
Yeah, so thats the story.
BUT OMGOSH. I looked back at the post, and I realized, SOMEHOW one of the paragraphs disappeared. DAMNIT. Aw crap, it was TWO paragraphs (pretty damn long ones at that!)! Or at least TWO MAIN IDEAS! DAMN! Maybe it means I shouldn't write about it.... Hm.. I'll jot the thoughts down, and I'll write about it again some other time, maybe, if I feel its right. (It didn't feel right when I wrote it the first time. Probably wrong motivation. But I might write about it. In due time.)
Idea1: Friends (Lidders, Seaweedgirl, Jmee)
Idea2: God and prayer
I'm out for the night.
-jmah-
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Nathan's "PURTY AWESOME" Christmas Party
It was "purty awesome".
By the way, I'm very dead at the moment, so this post will be short. VERY SHORT.
By the by, I love your farm, Nathan. LURVE IT. Oh and of course you too, but that's just different. =P Oh and I love your cows. HEHE.
<3
By the way, I'm very dead at the moment, so this post will be short. VERY SHORT.
By the by, I love your farm, Nathan. LURVE IT. Oh and of course you too, but that's just different. =P Oh and I love your cows. HEHE.
<3
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Friends, the future and what it may hold...
This is extremely impromptu, but I'm gonna blog about some of my future plans and some of the decision-making factors involved as well as my reasons.
As some of you would know, I plan to do some sort of health science degree, ultimately medicine, but I really don't know (By the by, I say that way too much). Since around year 8 I've wanted to become a doctor, but then as I thought about it over the years I was trying to figure out a few things. First of all, why do I want to be a doctor? Second, am I even cut out to be a doctor?
So I'm still in that in-between, but I reckon that I would enjoy medicine... it's interesting and would be fun. I also like being able to help people, but that answer/reason is too much of a damn cliché. I don't know whether TV is an influence on my decision. Just putting it out there, but I absolutely love Grey's as well as House. But when I watch the shows I like the organization more than anything. I guess I love that in any field... I love the break down of structures like a hospital or a military office. Who knows, maybe I should do something in management or organization.
I did work experience with a surgeon and I got to see a surgery first hand. I guess that didn't really phase me. The smell is horrid, but I survived. I even ate right after. But like, do I really want to cut people up and stick metal objects into them? I don't know (there I go again), maybe I do. But I've never really done it, so I can't say yet. That's where I am. So I wanna try it. Medicine, I mean. I don't know about any other choice.
Oh, except languages. I love languages and cultures and people. I would love to become an interpreter, but I can do that anyways even if I did medicine. OH! And that's another thing. I think I have this inbuilt thing that makes me want to do MORE MORE MORE! For example, double degrees, honours, concurrent diplomas, etc etc. Notice all of these are 'accreditation for acheivement'. What do they really mean? How much do they mean to me? I hope not THAT much. >.< style="font-weight: bold;">UNI
Columbia
Monash
UNSW
COURSE
Med/Arts
Emergency Health/Nursing
Physiotherapy
Medicine
Arts
With the universities, it's strange, 'cause 2 out of 3 of them are NOT in Melbourne. Which means I would have to move. I have a 1/3 chance of staying in Melbourne, assuming that I go to only one of the three. And if I go to Monash, my first course preference that Monash offers is Emergency Health/Nursing (note again that this is a double degree??)
So what's with all the possible moving? Well, I don't think I'm too bad with the moving part. But it's the friends that I leave behind. Mostly my church here. It's something that I don't want to lose, and I'm afraid, despite all the promises of reunion and whatnot, that I'll lose what I have if I leave. I've been through moves before and I understand that people MOVE ON, but thats the thing. Do I want to move on in my own direction? Or do I want to keep these friends? It's not so much a toss up of WHICH, but it's just that it's very hard to keep both.
What does Columbia have in store for me? Two of my closest friends are trying to get into Columbia, and I think it would be freaking awesome if I managed to scrape in with them. And these are friends I haven't seen for a long time. These friends made such a big impact on my life, even though we are such different people, if it weren't for them, I think I would seriously be a very torn, broken, confused (more so than now) person. But that's a story for another time.
UNSW? All it has is a dream-come-true degree! Medicine/Arts?! That means possibility for language studies and exchanges DURING a medicine degree! Awesome or what? Downside: I have to move. I have to get in. Ouch.
Okay, I can't really be bothered writing much else at the moment. Not in a very good mood, and I don't really know why. My brother threw my cat on me and I punched him. I think it's just 'cause it's him that pisses me off.
-jmah-
As some of you would know, I plan to do some sort of health science degree, ultimately medicine, but I really don't know (By the by, I say that way too much). Since around year 8 I've wanted to become a doctor, but then as I thought about it over the years I was trying to figure out a few things. First of all, why do I want to be a doctor? Second, am I even cut out to be a doctor?
So I'm still in that in-between, but I reckon that I would enjoy medicine... it's interesting and would be fun. I also like being able to help people, but that answer/reason is too much of a damn cliché. I don't know whether TV is an influence on my decision. Just putting it out there, but I absolutely love Grey's as well as House. But when I watch the shows I like the organization more than anything. I guess I love that in any field... I love the break down of structures like a hospital or a military office. Who knows, maybe I should do something in management or organization.
I did work experience with a surgeon and I got to see a surgery first hand. I guess that didn't really phase me. The smell is horrid, but I survived. I even ate right after. But like, do I really want to cut people up and stick metal objects into them? I don't know (there I go again), maybe I do. But I've never really done it, so I can't say yet. That's where I am. So I wanna try it. Medicine, I mean. I don't know about any other choice.
Oh, except languages. I love languages and cultures and people. I would love to become an interpreter, but I can do that anyways even if I did medicine. OH! And that's another thing. I think I have this inbuilt thing that makes me want to do MORE MORE MORE! For example, double degrees, honours, concurrent diplomas, etc etc. Notice all of these are 'accreditation for acheivement'. What do they really mean? How much do they mean to me? I hope not THAT much. >.< style="font-weight: bold;">UNI
Columbia
Monash
UNSW
COURSE
Med/Arts
Emergency Health/Nursing
Physiotherapy
Medicine
Arts
With the universities, it's strange, 'cause 2 out of 3 of them are NOT in Melbourne. Which means I would have to move. I have a 1/3 chance of staying in Melbourne, assuming that I go to only one of the three. And if I go to Monash, my first course preference that Monash offers is Emergency Health/Nursing (note again that this is a double degree??)
So what's with all the possible moving? Well, I don't think I'm too bad with the moving part. But it's the friends that I leave behind. Mostly my church here. It's something that I don't want to lose, and I'm afraid, despite all the promises of reunion and whatnot, that I'll lose what I have if I leave. I've been through moves before and I understand that people MOVE ON, but thats the thing. Do I want to move on in my own direction? Or do I want to keep these friends? It's not so much a toss up of WHICH, but it's just that it's very hard to keep both.
What does Columbia have in store for me? Two of my closest friends are trying to get into Columbia, and I think it would be freaking awesome if I managed to scrape in with them. And these are friends I haven't seen for a long time. These friends made such a big impact on my life, even though we are such different people, if it weren't for them, I think I would seriously be a very torn, broken, confused (more so than now) person. But that's a story for another time.
UNSW? All it has is a dream-come-true degree! Medicine/Arts?! That means possibility for language studies and exchanges DURING a medicine degree! Awesome or what? Downside: I have to move. I have to get in. Ouch.
Okay, I can't really be bothered writing much else at the moment. Not in a very good mood, and I don't really know why. My brother threw my cat on me and I punched him. I think it's just 'cause it's him that pisses me off.
-jmah-
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