Okay, first off, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR. =)
Yarr. Well, I was thinking of starting an anonymous blog with fictional names and no names of places and stuff, because that way I can be ENTIRELY honest. Not that I'm NOT honest here, but it's just that I can be MORE honest and more open about anything and everything. Like I could talk about taboo topics here, but it would be awkward.
But on the other hand, if I make an anonymous blog, then what is holding me to what is TRUE. It's ironic that I want to make a blog to become TRUER, but isn't being more open than I actually am not true? (Sorta bad example...) Or what if I take it as an opportunity to be who I'm not; to be something or someone I want to be rather than the true person that I am.
The only way to stop that from happening is having something/someone to keep me accountable. But then I don't want just anyone to know that it's my blog. So I need to really think about it, if I want to start that blog.
I want to write that blog, because I guess it'll help me find me better. I've defined myself in a certain way already, but to express myself in the way I want to be expressed, I guess, is difficult. Not that I'm not happy to be who I am, I've gotten passed that stage and I think in the sense of self-acceptance and further development of self-discovery and identity, the blog would help. The problem is people I consider FRIENDs may not be as accepting of me. It's complicated. I know theres most of my friends (people who read this blog included) are pretty supportive and all. =)
The big question is: would you judge me differently if you knew more about me?
The answer to that is YES, unless you're in denial. For example, if you knew about my family relationships and family history, if you knew about my friends in other schools, if you knew about MY history, if you knew about what side I take on issues of society... you would think of me differently, whether it be worse or better. But nonetheless, DIFFERENTLY. That's what I don't think I can face. Call me a coward, but I think it would be really hard to face friends who would so easily change their views of you if they found out that you hated Asians or love neopets (neither of which I do).
Yes. My SoT (Splurge of thought). =)
NEXT POST TOPIC: New Year's Resolutions!! Maybe...
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3 comments:
hmm.. am i in denial if i say no though? I mean, i think that everything you've been through would shape who you've turned out to be, secrets and all, so you + your secrets is still you, no?
well maybe its just me.. and i have no idea how to explain what i mean clearly.. haha. sry for the confusion
Hmm... I think there's always more to know. =P
But yes, all of it has shaped me into the person I am today, and I have accepted that person. So I'm happy. =D
bleh i dont want to know more about you than i already do bahahah. but i doubt theres much more to learn about you.
and yes, i do stalk your blog.
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