Holding on to the past...

Random note before I go into my blog: I got a merit for school for the musical! I didn't even know until my mom read the school newsletter thing and was like "OH! You got a merit! But they mispelt your name..." xD

Now, I've realized a trend in my family. I think it's a trend anyways. I can only say this for the family members I live with though (that being my mom, second brother and I). As you can probably tell from the title, I think that this trend is holding on to the past. This is something I try NOT to do, but I think I still do it anyways. I don't think its good thing, to hold on, because then it feels like your peak has past... and that just means its all downhill from here, more or less.

What do I mean by "holding on"? Well, my brother, for example, always brings up his high school days, when he was in his high school choir, musicals, when he lived in Taiwan (because Taiwan is probably this exalted shrine in his head) and is constantly comparing everything to that.

My mom, on the other hand, constantly compares to China, where everything is cheap, shopkeepers are always trying to cheat their customers and there is always somewhat of a language barrier, which we often use to our advantage to speak amongst ourselves in our own tongue/English.

I don't know what I hold on to... I remember making a conscious decision to let go of China; let go of Taiwan. Like sure, they were good times... they were great times, but what is the point of comparing that to now? It does no good to me, so why bring it up? If anything, it makes me feel worse, because it SEEMS that those memories are so much better than whatever I'm doing/going through at the moment. But I think this is just a mindtrick, because memories become distorted and... "romaticized", if you like, over time.

Maybe I hold on to... people/relationships and schools. Oh, I know, I hold on to identity. Thats the one thing I think I hold on to. Ugh, maybe I hold on to a bit of everything. Its actually really hard to pinpoint something that I hold on to as "mental baggage".

I think I hold on the people quite a bit as well. Not that I'm clingy, am I? I certainly hope not. But like the relationships I have with friends are something I hold on to. But not to the point where I'm constantly thinking of friends who have walked out of my life already... so maybe it's not holding on.

Oh, I don't know. I hold on to stuff, but I'm not sure if I know what.

Thats the thought for the day.

-jmah-

NOTE: What I said about my brother and mom is my opinion and what I feel from them. Don't know if it is really what they are holding on to, but thats what it seems like. Maybe like psychoanalysis, as offered by Freud...

Freudian psychoanalysis refers to a specific type of treatment in which the "analysand" (analytic patient) verbalizes thoughts, including free associations, fantasies, and dreams, from which the analyst formulates the unconscious conflicts causing the patient's symptoms and character problems, and interprets them for the patient to create insight for resolution of the problems.
Source: WIKIPEDIA! =)

Haha... with the Freudian slips and all. o_o;; Yeaaah...